


Watford inc.

by Plushion



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Eventual Fluff, F/M, Humor, M/M, Penny is amazing, Pranks, Slow Burn, The Office AU, idk just read it, no magic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-01
Updated: 2018-02-08
Packaged: 2018-11-21 19:48:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 22,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11364387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Plushion/pseuds/Plushion
Summary: Simon, Baz, Penny, Agatha, Ebb, Dev, and Niall all work at Watford inc. A paper distribution company. Their, often absent, manager: Davy Mage, is an ass. But besides that the days can be pretty entertaining.





	1. Pilot

**Author's Note:**

> HI I KNOW I STILL HAVE AN UNFINISHED FIC JUST... let me live okay. Anyways here's this garbage I've been binge rewatching The office and this was born. It's kinda shit but oh well. Here's a little guide. Anytime you see a name followed by a : that means that person(s) is talking to the camera directly like how they do in the show you know IF YOUVE SEEN THE OFFICE YOU KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT OK THANKS I LOVE U HAVE FUN

Baz, Penny, and Simon: sales  
Dev, Niall: accounting  
Agatha: reception  
Ebb: HR  
The Mage: regional manager (rarely present)

Simon: "So I, uh, I'm not the head salesman or anything. Im pretty sure even Penny's got me beat. But welcome to our, er, What is this again? Oh right, welcome to our Watford inc documentary!"

Baz: "I'm Basilton, feel free to call me Baz, I don't really care. I'm head salesman and don't let Penny tell you otherwise." 

Penny: "Yeah I'm head salesman." 

"Morning Simon." The receptionist, Agatha, greets Simon as he walks in for the morning.

"Agatha." He waves at her as he walks to his desk. 

"Snow." Baz barely acknowledges his presences 

"Always a pleasure, Baz." Simon replies sarcastically. 

"Hey Simon!" Penny smiles at him and looks back at her computer. 

Simon smiles back and sits down, dropping his coat on the back of his chair. Already Baz is on the phone, making a sale. He somehow charms his way into getting people to buy loads of paper even though he's an "annoying git" as Simon says. 

"Aw are sure you don't want just a few more reams?" He makes it sound like he's smiling when everyone can clearly see he's not. 

Penny's quick to make a sale too, calling one of her customers and convincing them that they'll go through paper faster than they think and that they should probably order more soon. 

Simon decides to do the same with a few of his customers. And so the day begins.

Dev: "Yep, me and Niall are accountants. Honestly we kinda just sit there and throw stuff at each other until someone needs us" 

Niall: "Don't let Dev tell you we don't do any work. I mean, it's true, but Davy would be pissed if he knew." 

Dev: "Who's Davy? Oh he's our branch manager and sometimes he's alright but usually he's, uh, kind of a terrible boss. Don't tell him I said that." 

Agatha gets bored easily at the reception desk so she's been watching movies on her computer. She didn't see Baz come up the counter. 

"Wellbelove." No response.  
"Agatha!" He raises his voice.  
Agatha yelps and rips the earbuds out of her ears.  
"Yeah, s-sorry. What do you need?" She's had a not so secret crush on him for the past few months. "I need three copies of this paper and two copies of this paper." He slides the papers to her and walks back to his desk. 

Agatha: "He's so cool." 

Baz: "No I'm not interested in Agatha. At all." He laughs 

Simon: "Agatha broke up with me for that little (bleep)" 

Ebb: "Hi, uh, I'm H.R. Or 'Human Resources'" she laughs. "I don't really do much besides that, and stuff pretty tame around here. The worst stuff is just when Simon and Baz get into arguments. I thought Simon was actually gonna explode last time." 

Simon gets up to hand some confirmation papers to Dev.  
When he passes Baz to get back to his seat he flicks the back of his head. Baz quickly spins his chair and trips Simon.  
"Ah (bleep)" Simon yelps as he falls.  
"What did you expect me to do, idiot?" Baz sneers and turns back to his paperwork.  
"Yeah I guess I had it coming" Simon sighs.  
Baz squints at him and then into the camera, seemingly surprised that Simon didn't try to start an argument. 

Penny: "Lunch break is pretty exciting! I mean, it's just cool to have everyone in one place because it kind of forces them to talk. Sometimes. And frankly I like seeing Simon and Baz fight." 

Baz: "I hate lunch break it's so cramped in that tiny ass room. And sometimes Davy joins when he's actually in the building, and he smells like garlic. I don't get it." 

Ebb: "Lunch is nice." She smiles. 

"Penny how's your day been?" Dev asks.  
"Pretty good. Got some old customers to buy more paper even though they bought some just last week." She shrugs.  
Dev nods his head in approval.  
"Nice." Niall smiles and takes a bite of his sandwich. 

Simon: "Lunch is... boring. I mean sometimes me and Penny talk but when everyone's in there it's kinda weird I guess?" 

Dev and Niall: (in unison) "I love lunch." 

Lunch break ends and everyone walks back to their desks, except for Simon, he stays back to finish his scones. 

Baz walks in again to buy a drink from one of the vending machines. He notices Simon and looks to the camera with a deadpan expression and his lips pursed.  
"What are you doing, Snow?" He grumbles.  
Simon chokes on his scone. Baz has to hit him on the back until he spits it across the room.  
Simon gasps for breath.  
"You.. can't go... sneaking up like that.." He says breathlessly, still trying to breath.  
"You're a bloody mess." Baz says shaking his head.  
"Shut up prick." Simon's still catching his breath.  
"I'd say I'm sorry but I'm not." Baz leaves the room with his drink and Simon continues eating.

Agatha: "So our Christmas party is in a week and a half. Me and Penny are the only ones on the party planning committee. And while we have plenty of time to plan it... me and Penny haven't really been talking lately and I'm not sure why." She furrows her brows 

Penny: "She's kinda an airhead sometimes I guess. We only got along because her and Simon were dating, and now that they're not... well we don't really talk much." 

Baz is listening to music while working on the computer, bobbing his head slightly. 

The camera focuses on Simon and he grins and flicks his eyebrows up.  
Simon knocks his pencil jar over, spilling a few on Baz's desk. Baz raises his eyebrow and Simon mouths a "Sorry" and picks up the pencil, except when he goes to pick up the last one, he pulls Baz's earbuds out of the computer.

Baz widens his eyes as "Circus" by Britney Spears blares at almost full volume. He frantically plugs it back in but everyone's clearly heard it. 

Simon throws his head back in laughter, Penny falls off her chair, Dev and Nail are clutching their stomachs, and even Agatha giggles behind her hand. 

"You're all apes." Baz mumbles. 

Simon looks at the camera, still chuckling, and wipes away a tear.  
Penny gets back in her chair and giggles for a few seconds until she calms down. 

When Baz is in the break room making tea. Dev and Niall walk in. Baz eyes them suspiciously.  
"All eyes on me in the center of the ring just like a circus!" They both sing as loud as possible.  
Baz yells at them. 

Baz: "I want to die." 

Simon: "I just..." He cracks up and puts his hand to his forehead still laughing hysterically. 

Penny goes to give Baz a paper from a client.  
"Which costumer?" Baz asks looking at the paper.  
Penny giggles "Its Britney Bitch"  
Simon giggles with her until both of them are on the floor wheezing. Baz looks into the camera, his eyes look hallow. 

Penny and Simon: look at each other and crack up again.

Ebb: "I don't know if they're ever gonna get over this." 

"It's five. Goodbye." Niall quickly announces as soon as it turns five, already halfway to the door. 

Simon gets his coat and makes sure he has his keys, phone, wallet.  
"Ready to go?" Penny asks.  
"Yep." 

Baz stays behind until everyone's gone. He pulls out several pictures of Avril Lavigne that he got Agatha to print for him secretly. He glued them to Simon's desk, the back of his chair, he even tapes one to his computer screen. 

Baz: "Not my best work. But it'll do for now." He smirks.


	2. Breaking pencils and making sales

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon and Baz go on a sales call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I like JUST posted the first chapter like 10 hours ago but I'm really excited for this series sorry.

The camera turns from Agatha's desk to the sales bunch. Simon is standing by Penny, leaning over to show her something on his paperwork. Baz looks into the camera and grins. 

He gets up and heads to Agatha. He tells her he needs some paper clips and after she's given him some he turns back to start walking. Simon is about to back to his desk, only a few steps away. Baz walks faster and pulls Simon's chair right as he goes to sit down. 

"Why are you such a prat?" Simon yells at him after he's fallen on the ground. Baz shrugs and smirks into the camera as he sits back down. 

Simon: "I never ask for these things to happen to me." He sighs, taking a pause. "I'm gonna get him back though." 

Baz is working diligently on his computer, sorting some files out before he prints them. Simon starts tapping his fingers on the desk, like drumsticks. Baz looks away and glares and his hand and then at his face until he stops. Then Simon picks up two of his own pencils and starts drumming again. Baz snatches the pencils and breaks them in half, throwing them back onto Simon's desk. Simon abruptly gets up and walks to the annex. "Ebb! Baz pulled my chair out from under me and then he broke my pencils!" He holds up the pieces for proof. Ebb frowns and gets up. "I'll go give him a lecture and tell him about office rules." She grabs a handbook and walks to the front room. "Basil!" She shouts to him as she goes through the door. Simon turns and grins at the camera, taking a sip of his tea. 

Baz: He rubs his eyes. "Fifteen minutes. She gave me a fifteen minute lecture." 

Penny: "It's literally 10 o'clock and already this is happening." She shakes her head. 

Agatha: "So I got a call today from a company interested in becoming a client and they asked for a couple salesmen to come pitch prices and stuff like that to them. Well Penny's got to leave early today for a dentist appointment, so, Simon and Baz have to go." 

Penny: "Today is gonna be interesting. Too bad I have to miss it." 

Agatha walks up to Simon's desk. "Hey, Simon." She smiles through tight lips.   
"What's up?" He looks up from his papers.   
"Well a potential client wanted a couple salesmen to come in and talk to them about prices and customer service, you know, that kind of stuff." She says, still trying to smile.   
"When is it?" He asks.   
"12 o'clock, right after lunch."   
"Okay. Me and Penny can go. Just email me the address." He smiles and turns to looks back at his paper.  
"Simon." Penny calls.   
"Hmm?"   
"I'm leaving at 11 for a dentist appointment."   
"Oh then how are we gonna-"   
"(Bleep)" The camera turns slightly to Baz as he curses and sighs, putting his head down so hard he practically slams it on his desk.   
"Yeah, Simon, you and Baz will have to go." 

Simon: "My luck is just brilliant today! Maybe I should go buy some lottery tickets!" He says sarcastically, throwing his hands to his head and slumping in the chair. 

"Why can't I just go alone?" Simon pleads with Agatha.   
"I'm sorry, Simon. They specifically said they wanted to speak with two salesmen."   
Simon groans.   
"Just suck it up, Snow. It's a job not your Barbie dream house." He snarls. Simon glares at him before he goes to the break room. 

"When I get mad, eating is the quickest way to calm myself down." He says to the camera as he stands at the fridge. He pulls out some lunch meat and eats a few slices. 

The camera is on Baz as he looks back into the break room to see Simon scarfing down slices of roast beef.   
"He's an actual pig." He mutters. 

At 11 o'clock Penny leaves. And all throughout the lunch break Simon glares at Baz.

When 11:30 rolls around Simon and Baz have to leave soon. They pack their needed papers into briefcases and glare at each other once more before leaving the building. 

"We'll take my car." Simon speaks up.   
"You're car is as unstable as you." Baz pulls out his own keys and goes to his car. Simon reluctantly follows.  
"I hope a bird (bleep) on your car." He grunts at him.  
"Thanks." Is all Baz replies.

They don't speak the whole ride there. In fact they only speak to each other at all indirectly by bouncing answers off one other when the client asks. 

The potential customer becomes an official customer and he shakes Baz and Simon's hands respectively. 

When they walks out Simon forces Baz to high five him.   
"Idiot, this is our job we didn't do anything special." He sneers at Simon.   
"So what? That was a big potential client and we just made a huge sale! That's worth celebrating." He smiles and Baz just stares and shakes his head. 

On the trip back Simon tries to turn the radio on. Baz is quick and slaps his hand away. He mumbles a "no".   
"What the issue? Do you have a Britney Spears CD in?" Simon barks a laugh. Baz glares at him.  
"No I just don't want your hands touching my stuff." He answers.  
"Dude my whole body is in your car how would my hand touching one thing make more of a difference?"   
Baz ignores the question, responding instead with "Don't call me 'dude'."   
"Okay I'll start calling you 'hot mama'." He laughs at his own choice of words.   
"You're an idiot!" Baz yells so Simon can hear him over his own ridiculous laughter. 

When they get back Agatha perks up. "Did you guys make the sale?" Simon grins and holds up the paper that confirms they sold to the company. Agatha claps quietly and whispers a "yay" smiling at the pair. Baz just shakes his head again and takes the paper from Simon. He goes to Niall and hands him all the paperwork.   
"Need these logged by Wednesday, their first shipment is Thursday." Baz says.   
Niall gives him a thumbs up and starts looking through the papers. 

The rest of the day goes by quickly and soon it time to leave. Baz and Simon are the last ones to leave. They get in the elevator together silently. 

When they exit the front doors Simon slaps Baz on the back and tries to make a run to his car. But Baz is too quick. He smacks Simon in the forehead, causing him to stumble back. 

"Why do you insist on pestering me?" Baz asks incredulously.   
"It was just a friendly pat on the back!" Simon retorts, rubbing his forehead.   
"Since when is anything 'friendly' between us?" Baz scoffs.   
"We don't always have to be fighting you know. We did good on that sale because we worked together." He looks up at Baz.   
"Really? I quite enjoy our violent back and forth." He smirks sarcastically.   
"I'm serious, Baz." Simon sighs   
"Fine. Whatever. Stop pulling stupid pranks on me and I'll stop pulling them on you. This doesn't mean we're friends."   
Simon smiles. "Sure."   
Baz squints at him as he walks away.   
"Night Baz!" He calls.   
"Yeah yeah." 

Baz: "What the (bleep) was that?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments appreciated!


	3. Decorating ahead of time

Penny: "So today Agatha and I are gonna ask Simon and Baz to go get a list of decorations we need for the party in a week. Because both of us are very confused as to why they're suddenly friends." 

The camera is on Agatha as she flicks her eyebrows up and gives Penny a thumbs up.   
"Hey Simon, Baz."   
They both look up.  
"We need someone to pick up a list of decorations for the Christmas party. Could one of you go? Or both of you I don't care I just need the decorations."   
Baz speaks up. "I'll go. Where's the list?"   
Penny hands him a piece of notebook paper with the list on it.   
"Alright, I'll go now. Not like Davy's ever here to make sure we're doing work anyway." He says, muttering the second part. He stars folding the list and putting his work in order.   
"Wait I wanna come too! I love Christmas." Simon gets up too, grabbing his jacket.   
"Alright." Baz says walking out with him.

Penny looks at Agatha, both of their eyes wide. She gets up and walks quickly to Agatha's desk. They start whispering frantically about what just happened. 

Simon and Baz are at some department store together. Simon is pushing the cart and Baz is standing beside him, reading the list. 

"Alright this says we need at least five packs of lights. She doesn't say what color so I guess we can just pick. She said she's bringing her own tree with ornaments for it so we don't have to worry about that. Wait- after lights and her saying she has the tree it just says 'and get whatever else you think would look good.' She's in the party planning committee why is she leaving this to us?" Baz rambles.   
"I think we can figure it out." Simon smiles and they start picking things off the isles. 

"We should get more than five packs of lights I want to line the rooms with them." Simon tells Baz as they find the section with the Christmas lights. 

"Christ, Snow, we'd need about 10 packs for that."   
"Let's get 11 then."

They get lights, paper snowflake decorations for the walls, festive table clothes, and even some Christmas themed mugs (to Baz's distain) and a ton of miscellaneous Christmas decor. 

They check out, put everything into Baz's car and head back to Watford inc.

When they come in with seven bags worth of decorations, Penny's eyes go wide.   
"How much stuff did you get?" 

"A lot." Baz replies.  
"Well, obviously. But I didn't expect this much. How do you expect us to put all this up?"  
"Hey we'll help too! We could even start putting up lights today since you won't really notice them unless their on." Simon says, defensively. 

Penny rolls her eyes. "Alright alright, if you want to do it now I won't protest." She shrugs and turns back to her desk. 

Baz: "I didn't want to get so much stuff, I'm not a fan of flashy decorations. But, snow insisted and apparently we're friends now." He shrugs and purses his lips. 

"Hey! Can we help?" Dev and Niall walk in to the conference room, where Simon and Baz go to take stock of everything they bought.   
"Sure!" Simon smiles. 

Dev: "I knew they'd be friends eventually. I swear when they always fought it was like they had some weird sexual tension- honestly it scared me. Me and Niall; we never knew if they'd start beating each other up, or making out on the floor. But since their friends now that seems to have gone away." 

Agatha is sitting on Penny's desk while they talk.   
"Baz doesn't like things that are over the top." Agatha starts. "So Simon must have convinced him into getting so many flashy things."   
"I know, it's still so odd that they're friends now. I wonder what happened." They both turn to the conference room, where Niall is standing on a chair and stringing up lights as Dev hands him the sticky clips that hold them up. 

Simon and Baz are opening the other boxes and discussing where to put them. 

"They're standing really close..." Agatha mutters. 

The second camera focuses on them between the blinds on the windows of the room. They are close. Shoulders almost touching from where they sit on the ground, unboxing the lights. The mic can barely pick up the conversation but Simon says something about putting the lights underneath the foldable tables when it's the actual day of the party. He also says something like "I'm glad we got rainbow lights they're so much prettier than the boring one colored kind." 

Baz glances at him, but it becomes more of a soft stare, lasting for a few seconds before returning back to the boxes. 

The first camera goes back to Agatha and Penny. They looks at each other, eyes wide and brows furrowed. Then look directly into the camera with the same expression. 

Agatha: "What the (bleep) is going on?!" She's says hysterically.


	4. friendy prank

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long! i decided to just go ahead and finish the fic so ill be posted one every other day. sorry this ones a bit short!

The camera is on Ebb. She's walking from the annex to the kitchen. Simon and Baz are sitting beside each other scrolling through their phones, occasionally sipping tea. Ebb raises her eyebrows before going about her business.

Ebb: "Have those two finally stopped fighting? It's about time." 

Simon has fallen asleep at his desk.   
Baz takes this as an opportunity to draw on his face. He finds a washable marker and first draws a happy face on his cheek. Simon's face is on one side so he isn't able to do much. 

He's crouched on his knees, balancing himself with one hand on the back of Simon's chair. His face is probably just 10 inches away from Simon's. He draws some crude pictures and Simon's starts to stir. Baz shoots up with a panicked expression and runs around Simon's desk to get back to his own. He plops in his chair loudly and Simon wakes up fully. 

He grunts and rubs his eyes. "How long was I asleep for?"   
Penny looks at her computer for the time. "About half an hour."   
He groans and gets up to go to the bathroom. About a minute later everyone hears him yelp. 

"Baz!" He shouts walking back out.   
"Wow you didn't even wash it off." Penny mutters.  
"I thought we were done with pranks!" Simon yells.   
At this point Ebb is out of the annex, and Dev and Niall have their heads turned to the commotion.   
"It was just a friendly prank." Baz smirks.   
Simon just gets angrier, clenching his jaw, and storms back into the bathroom. Slamming the door.   
Baz sighs and gets up.   
"Baz you need to-" Ebb starts, presumably about to tell him he should apologize to Simon.   
"Yeah yeah, I'm on it." Baz cuts her off and brushes past her to the bathroom. 

They don't seem to notice the door is still opened a solid 7 inches and the camera zooms in on them clearly. 

"Hey I'm sorry I really didn't mean to upset you." Baz starts.  
Simon's sniffles. "It's fine. I just thought we were finally friends."   
Baz rips some paper towel and runs a bit of water on it. 

He gently grabs Simon's face and wipes off the marker. He still pouts a little bit. 

"We are friends." Baz puts his hands on Simon's shoulders and Simon nods. 

"Let's go."   
"Okay." 

Agatha: "Weren't they in there for a long time..." she stares at the ground pensively. 

Everyone's back at their desks as the day is coming to an end. Dev and Niall are always the first to leave right when the clock strikes 5 o'clock. Ebb follows behind them and waves to the four staff members left. 

Penny and Agatha walk out to their cars together. Baz gets up, ready to leave with Simon, but he's asleep again. 

Baz pushes lightly on his shoulder.  
"Snow. Wake up."   
Simon only groans.  
Baz pushes harder.   
"Wake up!" He shouts.   
"Huh?!" Simon wakes with a start.   
"It's 5 o'clock."   
Simon gets up and gathers his stuff, wiping dried drool off his cheek.   
"What's going on?" Baz asks.  
"What do you mean?"   
"I mean you've fallen asleep twice today, it just seems like something's wrong." Baz starts walking with him.   
Simon smiles through tight lips.   
"I'm fine, really. Just a rough night I guess." Simon answers.   
"Okay, well if there ever is anything wrong just... let me know if I can help or something." Baz offers as they step out of the elevator. Simon smiles again, this time more genuine.   
"Thank you."   
"It's nothing."   
"Night, Baz." Simon walks to his car.  
"Night, Snow."


	5. Putting up a tree

Simon: "The party is in two days! Unless you count today, then it's three days. But either way, it's soon!" 

Ebb and Simon are in the break room having tea together.   
"How have you been, Simon? I feel like we haven't talked in forever." Ebb laughs.  
"I've been okay! My sleep schedule has gotten kinda bad but other than that everything's good. And yeah I agree it's been too long since we just sat down and had a chat." He smiles at her.   
"How's the decorating for the party going?"   
"So far so good! Penny's bringing in her tree and ornaments today so I think that'll take an hour or so."   
"I can definitely help with ornaments." Ebb smiles.  
"That would be great! We need all the help we can get. We've got a pretty small office but I just feel like we should go all out on every party." Simon shrugs and sips his tea.   
"It makes it feel like we're a family." Ebb seems to never stop smiling.   
"Yeah, it does." Simon looks away from her and smiles at the window, where everyone else is sat at their desks. 

Penny's lugging the tree in, obviously struggling, even though it's a fake tree still currently in many pieces and stuffed into a bag about the size of Penny herself.   
"Can I get some help?" Penny shouts, muffled from the weight of the bag covering her face.   
Baz gets up and pulls the top of the bag so they're both carrying either end of it. 

"Thanks."  
"Don't mention it." 

They put the bag in the conference room.   
"Hey, Snow, would you help me get the table out of here?" Baz asks.  
"Sure." 

The table is collapsible but still heavy. They manage to get it out the door and into the storage room across the hall. 

Simon wipes his hands together and sighs.   
"Let's go put that tree up!" 

About an hour of Baz yelling "No those branches are much smaller than these! See! They fit at the top!" And Simon laughing when the tree almost fell on Baz, it was finally up. "It looks great guys." Penny says as she walks in the room.   
"Here's the two boxes of ornaments I brought. There's some tinsel and string too, but I think we should water until the day of the party to do this stuff anyway." 

"Yeah we should probably actually do some work." Baz mentions. 

They get back to their desks, Baz calls some of his clients, Simon finishes off paperwork, Penny sends emails on her computer to her clients. 

Penny's working on her computer when Agatha comes up to her desk.   
"So... I was thinking-"  
"Oh no."   
"-That I might ask Baz out."   
"He'd just say no."   
"Well then, thanks Pen."   
"Sorry it's just, he knows you like him and he hasn't done anything about it so..."   
"I'll ask him why if he says no."   
Penny sighs but shrugs nonetheless.   
"Alright, alright. You've got like forty minutes to work on a plan." Penny says.   
"Yeah, I hope he says yes." 

When they're about to leave Agatha is already prepared to leave, so she has the extra few seconds she needs to walk over the Baz.

"Hey, Baz."   
Simon's still at his own desk, and Penny at hers, Dev and Niall have already rushed out.   
"Hmm?"   
"I was, uh, wondering if maybe you'd like to go get dinner tonight? Like on a date?" She smiles and tries to look as genuine as possible. 

Baz opens his mouth for a second and then closes it again, taking a deep inhale and sighing it out again. 

"Agatha, can we talk in private for a minute?"   
"Sure." He pulls her into the conference room and close the door quietly.   
"Agatha, I'm gay." He says, surprisingly calm.   
"Hmm...Okay then. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable or anything." She shrugs.   
"You're... fine with it?"   
"Well, yeah, it's not like I can change you or anything so it's not a big deal."   
He furrows his brows for a second before he smiles, just barely.  
"Thank you, Agatha. And for what it's worth I'm flattered."  
Agatha laughed.   
"Thanks." 

Baz opens the door for her and closes it behind himself. 

"C'mon Pen. We can go."   
They walk out together, chatting about some new song they both like. 

"Ready?" Baz asks, getting his keys from his pocket.   
"Yeah." Simon mutters.   
"Everything alright?"   
"When's your date?"  
"What?"   
"Your date. With Agatha."  
"Snow, I'm not going on a date with Wellbelove." He laughs.  
"Then why did you talk to her 'in private' like that?"   
"I didn't want to embarrass her."   
"So.. why aren't you going on a date with her then? She's nice and pretty what else do you need?"   
Baz smirks at the elevator floor.   
"I'm not going on a date with her for my own personal reasons. I'd like to leave it at that." His smirk is gone.

Simon sighs as they walk out of the building.   
"Night Baz."   
"Night Simon."   
Simon stops walking and turns around.   
"You called me Simon."  
"No I didn't."   
"You did."   
"Goodnight, Snow."   
Simon smiles to himself and keeps walking to his car.


	6. Deck the hall

Baz: "The Christmas party is tomorrow. It should be fun but... Davy." He shudders 

Penny walks out from the kitchen to the desk clump.   
"Do you guys wanna start decorating the tree later on today? It might take more than one day to do it all." She asks Simon and Baz   
"Sure! There's still some other decorations I wanna put up. And we still have a ton of lights that I have to figure out how to use." Simon replies.  
"I thought you were gonna line the rooms with them?" Baz questions, not looking away from his computer.  
"Yeah but that seems like a lot of work." Simon shrugs.  
"Well," Penny speaks up. "let me know when you wanna start on the tree."   
"In a couple hours?"   
"Sure." 

Ebb: "I was looking at the weather forecast this morning and there's a high chance of snow tomorrow! Hopefully it's not too much though. Just a light dusting would be nice." She smiles. 

Simon plays Christmas music on his computer while everyone is putting up ornaments and doing the final decorations up.  
Baz hangs sparkly red and green garland in half circles right below the lights on the top of the wall.  
Penny and Simon are putting up ornaments. Agatha tapes cartoon style bell cutouts on the walls. Dev and Niall are moving the foldable tables into the room while Ebb carries boxes with tablecloths and bowls and plates that she brings to the kitchen to clean. 

When they're finally done its almost time to leave. As per usual Dev and Niall are already out the door. Agatha walks out with Ebb and Penny. Baz starts walking before Simons shouts at him to walk slower so he can catch up. 

The camera focuses on Baz sitting in his car. Simon drives past and waves at Baz before pulling out of the lot. Baz waves back and his eyes linger at Simon's car.


	7. green suit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lets pretend like i didnt just not update for a long time lol im sorry BUT YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST THANK U FOR THE NICE COMMENTS I LOVE U

The camera is on Penny as she's at reception showing Agatha an article about something. She's pointing our certain parts quietly while Agatha nods. The second camera shows Baz and Simon both at their respective desks working. 

Baz: "I know David doesn't get here until later but... I feel like I can already smell him." 

Simon and Penny are eating lunch in the break room together.   
"Have we finished all the decorations for the party?" Penny asks. "Yep!" Simon says through a mouthful of food, swallowing before he continues. "We need some people to go out for some of the food, drinks, some last minute miscellaneous stuff." He waves his hand lazily. "I'll ask Dev and Niall to get food and stuff. They'll be happy to get out of work for a couple hours." Penny laughs and Simon nods, chuckling. 

The camera cuts to Penny walking to accounting and asking Dev and Niall to pick up a list of food and drinks for the party. They nod and put down their papers before grabbing their coats and walking out. 

"Hey, Baz." Simon sits at his desk.  
"Yes?"   
"Do you think it's a good idea to hang up some mistletoe?" 

Baz: He bites his lip and looks into the camera with a bleak expression.

Baz lets the paper he's holding go loose. "Do you really want Davy trying to harass everyone underneath it?" He asks somewhat incredulously. Simon makes a face, squishing his lips to the side and scrunching up his nose. "I guess that wouldn't be the best thing." 

Baz: "I'm so (bleep-ing) gay"

Ebb is plugging her phone into a speaker and playing a Christmas playlist. "How long have you been listening to that, Ebb?" Agatha asks. "Oh, probably since October." She smiles and Agatha silently chokes on her eggnog while nodding. 

Dev and Niall have finished setting up all the food on the overly decorated tables. "Dinner is served?" Niall shouts. "It's not necessarily dinner but thanks anyway." Penny laughs. 

Baz turns down the speaker and clears his throat.   
"Can I have everyone's attention please?" Everyone turns to him.   
"Davy will be here in," He looks at his watch. "roughly 20 minutes. I suggest you put away anything on your desk that he could potentially start a conversation about. Such as Pictures, trinkets, receipts that aren't work related. And most importantly of all-- do NOT make it appear as though you're having fun. You should act like you're half asleep and just waiting to go home." He steps back. "That's all." 

Simon steps forward and lazily raised his cup, trying to act as Baz suggested. "Let's party." Baz smiles before patting Simon's arm. "I said half asleep not half dead." Simon only chuckles in reply. They sit and Simon devours a cookie while Baz shows him something on his phone. Agatha is asking Ebb about some of the ornaments on the tree that she made. Penny is asking Dev and Niall what they got besides cookies and they shrug in reply. 

A few minutes go by. Dev twirls Agatha around to 'Joy To The World'. Penny listens as Ebb shows her how many Christmas related songs she has on her phone. Niall is showing Simon and Baz a weird party trick he can do with a pen. 

Simon: "I'm having a lot of fun." He grins meekly. 

The camera is back on the conference room, where the party's being held. Then it swings to the left on the main entrance. The door opens dramatically. A shaggy looking man with an atrocious green suit steps in, hanging his equally disastrous coat on the hook.

The second camera then focuses back on the room. Everyone is silent, frozen in place. 

"Sorry I'm late!" The man, Davy, booms out, striding into the room with his arms open as though he's expecting a hug. 

"Happy Holidays, Davy." Simon mutters. "Simon! How are you?" He grabs Simon into a half hug, giving him a noogie, messing his hair up even more so than usual.   
"Great. Thanks." 

He lets Simon go and takes a look around, sighing and putting his hands on his hips. "This place looks great!" He says triumphantly, as if he did it all himself.

Everyone mutters a 'merry Christmas' or 'happy holidays' as they shake his hand. He grabs a paper plate and takes nearly half the food from the table. 

Simon's brows furrow as his mouth opens and he starts to get up to say something. Baz's eyes widen and he grabs Simon around the waist, covering his mouth with another hand, and pulling him back down. "It's not worth it." He whispers sharply. He lets him go once he's sat back in the seat completely. Simon frowns but goes back to eating his cookies.

He spends a few minutes hunched over the food table, grabbing what he wants from it. He stands up abruptly and looks around the room again. "Well, I know I just got here, and believe me I'd love to stay longer and chat. But I've got business to attend to." He looks expectantly, waiting for someone to ask him what exactly the 'business' is. 

He gives up, his shoulders slumping slightly as he continues. "I'm sending a possible new office member to training. So we may have a new member of our little family." He contorts his mouth into what might be perceived as a smile. 

Everyone just stands there for a moment before he bounces on his feet. "Well! I must be going! Goodnight all!" He scurries out like an over confident rodent. 

Everyone sighs in relief. "He was only here for 10 minutes!" Dev shouts. Everyone cheers and Ebb turns her music back up. 

Penny: "I hope the possible new 'family member'-" She says mockingly, with air quotes. "isn't anything like him." She rolls her eyes.

After he's left everyone goes back to conversing. Agatha and Penny dance to an odd rendition of 'Jingle Bells'. Dev and Niall complain about the lack of food. 

"Care to dance, Bunce?" Baz bows jokingly towards Penny after she throws her empty paper plate away.  
"Why i'd love to, Basilton." She curtseys. Ebb puts on 'White Christmas' and Penny and Baz waltz to it, laughing the whole time. 

"I'm slightly disappointed we haven't interacted more often. You seem like a grand conversationalist." Penny comments, raising her brows at him. Baz chuckles. "Ah, yes, I suppose I do frequently speak about the tribulations of life." Penny snorts. Simon butts in. "Stop talking like you're so pretentious!" He whines. "Oh but my dear Simon, Basilton is pretentious." "It's true!" Baz nods enthusiastically. Simon just rolls his eyes and sips his drink.

The party is coming to a close. Ebb is yawning, Dev and Niall are packing their papers away.   
"Has anyone got anything planned for the break?" Ebb asks the room, referring to the 5 day break after tonight. Everyone shrugs are mutters a 'not really' and Ebb frowns a little. 

"We're heading out! Merry Christmas!" Dev and Niall wave as they leave together. "I think i'm gonna head home too." Ebb smiles and gathers her stuff. "I'll walk out with you, I'm pretty tired." Agatha follows. 

"Simon? Are you ready to go? We can walk out together." Penny suggests, throwing her bag over her shoulder. "Actually me and Baz are gonna stay back and clean up the food and drinks." Baz nods. "Yeah, I think it would be a bad idea to just leave it laying out." Penny waves them off "Alright losers, See you next week!" "Happy Holidays, Pen!" "Happy Holidays!" She shouts back, laughing. 

Baz: His lips are pursed as he stares at the floor. "I guess I should have clarified. I'm (bleep-ing) gay and I have a ridiculous schoolgirl crush on Simon Snow." He glances into the camera. "Im (bleep-ed) aren't I?" 

Simon: "Baz is actually... a really great guy. I'm really glad we don't play dumb pranks on each other anymore." He smiles lightly, looking down. 

They put the leftovers in plastic containers, dump out the drinks that have been sitting there all night, and throw away cups and plates. 

"Did we finish?" Simon asks when Baz gets back from throwing away some plates. "I think so." He pushes his hair back from his face and pulls a hair band from his wrist, tying it up into a lazy bun. Some pieces fall from the sides framing his face, and some shorter strands fall in front of his eyes so he lets out a puff of air to get rid of them.   
"We could move the tables back out into storage though."   
Simons just stares at him. 

"Hello? Earth to Simon?" Baz waves a hand in front of his face. He startles "Oh yeah sure- sorry I was... distracted." 

Simon: "Oh no." 

Baz furrows his eyebrows. "What?"   
"Nothing!" Simon answers a little louder and faster than he planned to. Baz shrugs and they start folding up the tables to move them. when they're done Baz gets a present from under the fake tree. "Oh, those are all just tissue boxes wrapped. Y'know for decoration." Simon tells him. 

Baz hands him the box. "This one is for you." He turns back around to pick up his blazer from where he took it off and dropped it near his desk. Simon's eyes follow him as he bends. His dress shirt pulling taut over his back, sliding out slightly from where its tucked in. His slacks pull a little bit over his thighs. Simon still watches as he throws the blazer over his forearm and turns back around.

"You plan on opening it?" He smirks and nods at the box. Simon widens his eyes. "Oh- Oh yeah sorry." He rips the paper off and opens the white box. 

"A... stuffed bear?" Simon asks, clearly surprised yet confused. It's a creme colored bear with a Santa hat and a wrapped candy cane in its hand. "Since you constantly fall asleep at your desk, I thought this would be helpful so that you don't drool directly onto it." Simon starts to smile. "Plus I figured you'd like the candy." Simon's fully smiling at him now. Baz just shrugs and tries not to smile. 

"Thank you. I love it." Simon hugs him, squeezing his sides. Baz's whole face is showing his surprise, his eyes are still wide as he smiles lightly and hugs Simon back. "I'm glad."

Simon: "I'm so confused." He sure looks confused. 

Baz: He's trying not to smile. He coughs and readjusts himself in the seat. "I guess he liked it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> any guesses as to who the new "family member" may be ????


	8. Welcome Micah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CONGRATS TO THOSE WHO GUESSED MICAH !! U WERE RIGHT!! also just a disclaimer the whole fishbowl thing is... idk man i just wanted an excuse for simon and baz to race each other so *shrugs*

Agatha: "New year new me!" She pumps her fists in the air 

The camera cuts to Agatha slumped over her keyboard, asleep.   
Simon walks up and pokes her shoulder to wake her up. She wakes with a snort and jerks up abruptly. "Huh?" She shouts. "Oh- Simon, hey. What do you need?" She murmurs groggily. "I need ten copies of this please." He hands her a paper and she goes to the copier. 

Simon: "It's a new year and I feel pretty much the same. My sleep schedule is a little better I guess." 

Penny's making two cups of coffee in the kitchen. Baz is sat at a small table in the corner with some cheesy tween marketed magazine. 

Baz: "No, I didn't buy that for myself." He laughs. "Penny brought it in as a joke, she said it was for her little sister but she apparently rejected it. So of course we're enjoying it." 

Penny brings the coffees to the table. "Thanks." Baz says as she hands him one. "Is it entertaining?" She nods to the magazine as she sits beside him to read it too. "Oh it's quite the read. Look here we can take a quiz to find out our celebrity boyfriend." He giggles. 

Penny: "Baz Pitch. Just. Giggled. What?" She laughs through her nose with short puffs of air. 

"I have to know who my celebrity boyfriend is." Penny says, putting her coffee down. They read more of the magazine, pointing and some things and laughing. Agatha comes in and goes to the fridge. She pulls out a water bottle, taking a sip, when she looks over to them. 

"What... are you reading?" She asks slowly. "Join us." They say in unison, then all three of them laugh. Agatha sits on the other side of Baz and reads with them. 

Almost half an hour has gone by and the three of them are still engrossed in the magazine. Dev has just walked in and was forced to find a sharpie before he was allowed to sit and read with them. He brings the marker as well as Niall. They sit on the other side of Penny, leaning to actually see the magazine. 

Baz and Agatha start drawing things on pictures. Most of which are incredibly childish. They're all laughing now. 

Baz: "I don't know why I pushed these people away. This might be the most fun I've had at this dingy place." 

The camera is on Simon at his desk. He looks up from his computer and sighs. When he realizes nobody's in the room he looks into the camera with a concerned expression. He turns to the kitchen and sees everyone in there, almost immediately getting up to check it out. 

"What's going on?" He walks in. "Are you reading one of those teenage girl magazines?" He can't seem to fully grasp the situation. 

"Yeah." Penny mumbles. Simon sighs before grabbing a soda out of the fridge. "Okay, scoot over." 

It's been a little longer before they disperse and actually start working. 

Ebb: "The break was nice! I volunteered at a family run farm for a couple days-- got to take care of some goats." She smiles.

The phone at reception rings and Agatha picks it up. "Agatha Wellbelove, Watford inc. how can i help you today?" She recites. "Oh. Oh. Okay. Mhm. Yes i'll make sure its clear. Okay. Bye." She hangs up, then stands. "Attention! Our new staff member is coming today at 1:30 and Davy wants us to be on our 'best behavior'." Everyone laughs quietly. She grabs a wet wipe from her desk station and cleans the desk where the new worker will sit. 

Now the four main sales desks look like this: Simon's on the left side, his desk is set vertically so that Baz and Penny who are in the middle facing each other, fill the space between his desk and the fourth one, directly across from where Simon sits. Which is the desk for the new member. 

The Camera is outside in the parking lot. A car pulls in and parks before a man gets out, pulling his bag over his shoulder and tucking his keys in his pocket. He's got chocolate skin and a crisp blue button up. His pants and shoes and bag are just plain black and he's got grey coat on his arm. He smiles at the camera and raises his eyebrows. 

Micah: "I'm Micah, and uh... Today's my first day here so that's ... something?" He shrugs.

He walks in and goes up to reception. "Hi! You must be the new sales worker?" Agatha asks. "Yeah, I'm Micah." He sticks out his hand and she shakes it. "I'm Agatha. I can introduce you to everyone if you like!" "Sure that sounds great." He nods.

"So these are your fellow sales team members. This is Simon-" They shake hands. "-this is Basilton, we call him Baz though-" They shake hands. "-and this is penelope. Most of us call her Penny." They shake hands. 

Agatha introduces Micah to Dev, Niall, and Ebb. 

"He seems nice." Simon whispers when Agatha has brought him back to the annex to show him around. "Yeah. He's hot too." Penny whispers back. "Penny!" Simon whisper-yells. Baz snickers at his reaction. "What? Do you think he's hot too?" Simon accuses mockingly. "He's certainly not unattractive." Baz smirks. "Hey watch it Pitch. I'm going after him." Penny jokingly scolds. "Oh calm down, Bunce. I won't steal your potential man." He laughs. Penny bows her head and smiles slightly. Simon just rolls his eyes and gets back to work. 

Micah gets settled at his desk, but he doesnt have much besides a pencil cup so apart from that and his computer, its pretty empty. Simon peers over his computer screen at Micah's desk. "You didn't bring anything to decorate your desk?" "Simon-" Penny starts to lecture him but Micah just waves her off and laughs. "No, no its fine. I wasn't really sure what exactly the atmosphere would be around here so I didn't want to risk looking unprofessional." "We barely even actually work." Baz tells him. "Yeah. And look at all the random stuff I have on my desk." Simon gestures. "I'll bring my stuff tomorrow then." Micah nods. 

A couple hours have gone by as everyone works. "Hey, did you guys get this email from Ebb?" Penny asks Simon and Baz. The both say that they haven't. "It says whoever can get to the annex faster to help her with some filing gets her fishbowl."

Ebb: "My fishbowl? Oh." She giggles softly. "Yeah, I have this fishbowl thats just full of little things I like. Theres some candy and a ton of coupons I keep forgetting to use. Theres also some tiny knick knacks that I'm not entirely sure how they got in there. Well more recently it has become sort of a 'bet jar' I guess. I'm not entirely sure the rules everyone's made up for it though." She waves her hand at the thought. 

Baz: "The fishbowl?!" He nearly shouts. "I can't believe we haven't explained this to you guys yet. Basically Ebb had this huge fishbowl that she just kept candy and random stuff in. But over the past month we've started using it like how people use swear jars. Except we have really specific rules." 

Simon: "When me and Baz still hated each other, Ebb would make us put 5 bucks every time we pulled a prank on the other. Whenever Davy's here we all put a dollar in every time he talks way louder than necessary. If Dev and Niall start getting ready to leave before 5 they have to put 10 bucks in. There's some other small ones but those have contributed most."

Agatha: "Theres probably around 200 dollars in that bowl."

Simon and Baz look at each other with surprised expressions. Penny looks at the camera mischievously. They bolt out of their seats. Simon has a small advantage since Baz has to go around the corner of Simon's desk. 

Simon throws open the Kitchen door. Poor unsuspecting Micah attempts to greet him. "Hey S-" "NO TIME TO TALK. FISHBOWL." Simon yells. Baz is quick behind him. Micah seems deeply concerned "Baz-" "THAT FISHBOWL IS MINE, SNOW." He trips Simon from behind, leaping over his legs when he's down. "(Bleep)!" He scrambles up and catches up to Baz when he throws the door leading to the annex open. Micah looks into the camera with a genuine face of pure fear. 

Simon tackles Baz, jumping on his back. "AH!" He scurries off of Baz and practically leaps to Ebb's desk. "Simon?" She asks, worried. "I won!" "No!" Baz is back up and he tries to push Simon away from Ebb. Simon pushes him back and soon they're just using all their weight to try and knock the other down. "Stop!" Ebb yells. 

Simon: "Ebb never yells." 

Baz: He looks into the camera apologetically 

"What are you doing?" Ebb asks. "You said whoever got here first could have the fishbowl." Simon says. "I said no such thing. Go back to your desks, please." 

They apologize to Ebb and quietly walk back to their desks. Micah's back at his own desk. "We're sorry we yelled at you. We had a dire emergency." Simon sulks. "It's okay guys. Penny explained the importance of the fishbowl. I get it." He smiles. 

Penny: "To be fair, I didn't think Ebb would yell at them."


	9. Lila part 1/2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i had so much fun and also jus a psa that I MAKE A TON OF STUFF UP purely because i think itll be entertaining to read and write so SHRUGS

"Hey I'm bringing a baby in." Micah walks in for the morning. The only other person there so early is Agatha. "Woah what?!" Her brows are deeply furrowed. Micah has a child in his arms, she's babbling and making grabbing motions towards Agatha. "Yeah this is my sisters baby. She has to go out of town for work and instead of getting a nanny she just plopped this rascal on me. I'm gonna have her today and tomorrow. I hope thats okay?" Micah bobs her in his arm and she laughs. 

"It should be okay. I'm pretty sure no one in the office has anything against babies. What's her name?" Agatha asks him. "Lila." He bobs her again. Agatha smiles and waves at Lila. She giggles and makes the grabbing motion at her again. "Do you wanna hold her?" Micah lifts her up a bit. "Sure!" Agatha gets up and moves out from behind her desk. Micah puts Lila in her arms. Lila makes a 'Ba!' sound. 

"How old is she?" Agatha smiles and rubs at her cheek, making her giggle again. "She's almost a year and a half now! She can say a couple words but mostly she just babbles and stumbles around." Micah says as he puts his coat on the hook and rolls up his sleeves. 

"How do you think everyone else is gonna react?" Agatha asks, walking over to Micah. "I actually have a plan." A playful look passes his face. "Oh boy." 

The camera is on the office, showing everyone at their desks besides Micah. Agathas' phone at reception rings. "Agatha Wellbelove Watford inc. how can I help you?" She pauses. "Yes they are. Okay, I will." She hangs it up. "Hey someone go grab Ebb." Dev gets up and calls her out from the kitchen. "What's going on?" Penny asks. 

"Davy's in his office right now and he wants everyone in for an impromptu meeting." Everyone sighs but they get up nonetheless. They wait at his door behind Agatha as she pushes it open. 

The chair is facing away from them as they shuffle in. "Davy?" Simon greets. The chair turns and it's not Davy. Instead, sitting in the chair is little Lila. She giggles at them and makes a 'gabaa!' sound. Micah pops up from behind the desk, looking rather triumphant. 

"What the (bleep)?" Baz blurts. He immediately covers his mouth and his eyes widen. "Baz!" Simon smacks his arm. 

"Well- this is my niece Lila. She's gonna be with us today and tomorrow. I hope you guys don't mind." He smiles nervously. Lila laughs and bounces in the chair. She picks up a pen and swishes it in Simon's directions mumbling a 'dububu' in a fake stern tone. Then she giggles and smiles up at Simon. Simon smiles back and looks at Micah. "Of course it's okay." Micah sighs in relief and picks up Lila. "Does anyone wanna play with her? I brought toys." Everyone starts speaking up asking to play with her first.

They decide to take turns in pairs of two to play with her. Dev and Niall go together first. They roll around some small soft basketballs and Lila runs to catch them and throw them back. Kind of like they're playing fetch. 

Then Ebb and Agatha play with her. Ebb reads to her while Agatha dances around with her. Soon she gets tired and takes a nap. Ebb stays in the room while she sleeps to keep an eye on her. 

"Hey. Psst."   
"Snow I'm two feet away."   
"We're gonna play with Lila next right?"   
"Did you want to?"   
"Duh."   
"Then sure I guess we can." 

Baz: "He's not making this easy on me. I'm considering going back to making him hate me because that was almost bearable. This isn't" 

Penny peeks into the break room to see Micah. "Hey, since I haven't got a partner for playing with Lila, is it cool if I come in with you?" She asks, still just holding the door frame and leaning in. "Yeah absolutely!" Micah smiles at her. She returns it and nods at him before walking back into the kitchen, fist bumping Baz when she walks by. 

"Lila woke up a few minutes ago so you guys can go play with her now." Micah tells Simon and Baz. Simon smiles before grabbing Baz's hand and dragging him in.

Lila giggles at Simon when he walks in. "Hi, Lila!" Simon coos. She makes a loud happy 'huh!' sound and points at Simons hand, which is still holding Baz's. She wobbles towards them and slaps their hands lightly with her own. They let go of each other and grab her hands. 'Up!' She yells. The lift their arms gently and she kicks her feet in the air and shrieks happily. 

Baz smiles softly at her as she swings in the air. "You like her, don't you?" Simon whispers to him. "Shut up, Snow." He says, not looking up from Lila, or pushing his smile away. "I didn't think you'd be someone to like kids." "What's that supposed to mean?" Baz furrows his brows and looks up at Simon angrily. "I'm just saying-- it seems like you wouldn't like kids. Since you're more... on the grumpy side." He mutters the last part. 

"I'll have you know I love kids. I hope I can have one, someday. We should probably actually play with her instead of just swinging her." Simon just stares at him. "Stop doing that." He shakes his head a little bit. "Stop doing what?" He asks confused. "You keep doing this thing where you just stare at me and zone out. It's creepy." Simon looks at the ground, blushing. 

Baz: He furrows his brows and rests his head on his fist, looking quizzically at the camera. 

Baz picks up Lila and walks in circles holding her. He dips her down every second step. She squeals in delight at him. His hair falls in front of his face and she makes a breathy laugh as she grabs at it. 

"I think she wants to play with your hair, Baz." Simon chuckles. Baz puts her in a chair and sits down, facing away from her. She pats his head and shouts 'Baz!' happily. Baz's eyebrows fly up and his mouth drops open but quickly becomes a smile. Simon hides his hand over his own surprised smile. 

Then Lila makes a grabbing motion towards Simon and goes 'Neh!' and slaps the seat she's on. Simon laughs and sweeps her up, plopping her on his knees so she can play with Baz's hair. 

After a second she makes a mphf! sound and grabs Simon's hand, pulling it over her shoulder and places it on Baz's head. "You want me to play with Baz's hair?" He giggles. 'Baz!' She says as she gently pets his head. "I feel like a dog." 

Simon runs some strands through his hand, carding through them gently. He rests his hand more on the side of his head and Baz leans into him. Simon rubs the pads of his fingers, mostly his thumb, against his scalp. Baz closes his eyes and smiles so softly it almost isn't even there. 

Soon Lila gets tired again and crawls off Simon to curl up with her blanket on the floor next to Baz. Her arms curl around his leg as she clings to him. 

Simon continues playing with Baz's hair for almost half an hour. Baz has dozed off, propped up against Simon's leg. He doesn't want to wake them up so he just keeps gently rubbing Baz's scalp. 

Simon: "I don't know what's going on." 

An hour has gone by and there's only half an hour left of the work day. Penny walks in, getting ready to tell them that her and Micah still haven't had a chance to play with her. But she sees the situation and smirks at the camera. Simon notices her and his eyes widen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cliffhanger :0


	10. Lila 2/2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry its been a hot minute and this is short and kinda sucks oops  
> i hope u enjoy anyway AMD ALL YOUR NICE COMMENTS WOW MY HEART OUCH I LOVE U ALL

“This isn’t what it looks like!” Simon whispers to Penny. She’s got this manic open mouthed smile and her eyebrows raised. She nods her head and mutters a sound of dubious agreement. She muffles a laugh. 

Simon sighs and gently shakes Baz’s shoulders to wake him up. He groans and leans to the side, slowly falling to the floor and falling back asleep. 

Simon glares into the camera before getting up. Lila wakes up and waddles her way to Baz and dramatically flops onto his stomach. He flinches as the breath is knocked out of him and he wheezes. Lila laughs and slaps his stomach like a bongo drum. 

“Okay! You win! I’m up!” He says and leans up on his elbows so Lila can hop off. She runs over to Penny and happily squeals something that sounds like almost like “Penny!”. Penny smiles and lifts Lila up, holding her on her hip. 

Baz gets up and yawns, cracking his knuckles and pulling a hair-tie from his pocket. He puts his hair up but a few pieces fall forward. “How long was I asleep?” He asks. Simon just stares at him. Baz squints and abruptly claps his hands in front of Simon’s face. “Ah!” He yelps and winces. “How long was I asleep?” Baz repeats. “Oh... Uh, about an hour and a half I think.” He looks at the clock. 

“Damn, why didn’t you wake me up?”  
“You looked peaceful.”  
“Yeah, sure.”  
“I’m serious! You looked kinda like an angel-“ 

Baz’s eyes widen. In fact, all three of the adults eyes widen. 

“- A... a goth angel! Ha! Like an emo... like a... I gotta go.” Simon stutters as he rushes out. 

Simon: “(Bleep!)” He sighs and bobs his leg nervously.

Penny: “What the hell was that?!” She laughs hysterically. 

Penny and Micah are playing with Lila during the last hour of the day. Penny lays on her back with Lila laying on her stomach and chest while she reads to her. Micah reads for a prince character and Penny reads for the Princess. 

It’s a book about a prince who’s told to “save” a princess, but when he gets there he finds that the princess isn’t actually being held captive, she just prefers solitude in her tower. 

The prince and princess fall in love and live happily ever after and stay in the tower, reading and writing and playing music, and once in a while they leave to explore the wilderness around them. 

When they finish the book Lila babbles happily and climbs off Penny and hops over to Micah. They play with her and an abundance of stuffed animals. 

By 5 o’clock it’s time to leave and Penny helps Micah clean up her toys. “Bye, Lila!” Penny gently tickles her. Lila waves at her as Micah leaves, carrying her. 

Micah: He bites his lip, trying not to smile. “Penny is... she’s something else.” His dimples start to show.

As always Dev and Niall walk out as soon as the clock strikes 5. Ebb is talking to Agatha at her reception desk. Penny grabs her coat and walks out with them. Baz doesn’t make any move to get up, even as Simon does. 

“Baz? Are you coming?”  
“Actually I think I’m gonna stay a little longer to catch up on some work.” He writes on some forms, not even looking up at Simon.  
“Oh okay... I guess i’ll see you tomorrow then.” He seems disappointed.  
“Yeah see you tomorrow, Snow.” 

Simon: “I (bleeped) up with that angel thing didn’t I? I didn’t even mean to say it... it just kinda fell out of my mouth. I’m an idiot.” 

Baz: “I’m an idiot.”


	11. Simon got mugged

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is kinda angsty??!! I have no idea where it came from but i just felt like writing it. Its kinda short too oops. Don’t worry the next chapter will be fun and sweet and fluffy I promise

Simon walks into the office. He’s an hour late, and he’s got a huge bruise on the left side of his face. As well as some on the knuckles of his right hand. 

“Simon what the hell happened to you?” Agatha asks, concerned. Simon merely grunts in response and plops into his chair. 

Baz looks up from his work, as does Penny. They both start to ask questions, interrupting and overlapping each other’s words. “Nothing, I’m fine.” Simon answers, not looking up from papers he pulled from a file in his desk. 

“Simon?” Penny starts   
“What?!” Simon snaps, but the angry grit of his teeth falters when he sees Penny’s look of hurt.  
“I’m sorry I- I’m fine.”   
“No, you’re not.” Baz says   
Simon looks at him locking eyes with an intense defeated look.   
“What happened?” Baz asks.  
“I got mugged last night.”   
“Holy (bleep) Simon!” Penny shouts   
“What- what happened? When did this happen? What got stolen? Or did they get caught? Are you okay? (Bleep) Simon.” Questions are pouring out of Baz’s mouth 

“It happened this morning.” Simon starts explaining. “I stopped to get gas and some coffee. I went inside to pay for the gas and get the coffee. And I keep my wallet and other important stuff in a backpack so I had that over one arm when I was walking back to my car. And then out of nowhere this guy shows up and he’s suddenly right in my face. He punched me, as you can probably tell. And he tried to rip my bag away from me, and my coffee spilled all over my shirt and that hurt like hell, thats why I’m wearing this sweatshirt, but I had my hand gripped around the strap and I pulled him back towards me and I got a good punch in at least.” He chuckles sadly and raises his knuckles with the bruises. “I guess I hit him a lot harder than he hit me because he ended up on the ground. So ran into the gas station and practically screamed at the lady working to call the police. They got there in about twenty minutes. A guy that was also working came out and held the guy down while I waited.” He takes a breath and exhales through his nose. “The police get there, they arrest the guy, then they watch the security tapes to make sure it really happened, and they put him in the cop car. They asked if I was okay and I really wasn’t, honestly I’m still pretty shaken up, but of course I just said I was fine.” 

Baz and Penny stare at him open mouthed.   
“Can we... not tell anyone about this. I mean I’m sure Ebb and Micah will ask but I don’t want them to worry. And if Agatha asks you guys just- I don’t know. Just make something up. Please?” 

“Simon this isn’t something to be embarrassed about! I mean, you even got a hit on him, and he was arrested!” Penny whisper yells 

“Just because I shouldn’t be embarrassed doesn’t mean I’m not.” Simon looks back at the work on his desk. 

“C’mon,” Baz stands up, grabs Simon’s hand gently and pulls him up. “let’s get you some ice. And we can wash this scrape.” He softly touches the injury on the palm of Simon’s hand, from when the attacker tried to rip the backpack away from him. “Okay.” Simon mumbles and lets Baz lead him to the kitchen.

Baz pulls a sandwich bag from the cabinet and fills it with ice. He takes the hand towel from the counter and wraps it around the bag. 

He holds if up to Simon’s face gingerly. “Hold this here.” He talks in a soft voice. Simon gazes at Baz when their fingers touch. Baz holds the stare for a single heartbeat before he breaks away and makes another ice pack, using paper towels to wrap around it instead. He takes Simon’s bruised hand again and slowly rests it on the counter by the sink. 

Then he takes Simon’s scraped hand, letting him put down the ice pack, and turns on the sink on so the water runs gently. He used both hands to hold Simon’s hand, holding it palm up under the water. A little bit of dried blood washes away when Baz, light as a feather, rubs his thumb over the scrape. 

While Baz is focused intently on cleaning Simon’s hand while Simon just looks up at him. His mouth is parted and he looks like a little kid being cared for by his mother after an accident. 

Baz turns off the sink and takes the towel from the first ice pack that Simon put down and pats his hand with it to dry the scrape and his own hands. 

He wraps the towel back around the ice pack and holds it up to Simon’s bruise again. He cups Simon’s cheek with his free hand and his brows furrow as he looks into Simon’s eyes. Simon stares back and a shaky exhale escapes his mouth as Baz’s hand lightly slides down his neck and onto his shoulder, squeezing it firmly. 

Simon feels his nose get tingly and his eyes tear up. “I’m about to cry can we go into the bathroom?” He whispers, his bottom lip trembling.   
“Of course.” 

Baz walks in and holds the door open for Simon. As soon as Simon gets in he starts shaking. “I-it was so scary, Baz.” He sobs. Baz steps forward and pulls Simon to him. Holding him tightly. “And w-when I hit him it didn’t even feel like i was doing it I didn’t feel anything a-and all I could hear was my heartbeat going a million miles a minute and I think I s-swore at him I can’t even remember it happened so fast.”

He sobs on Baz, his tears wetting his shirt. His neck is bent, so his head is pressed to Baz’s collarbone. Baz slips an arm under Simon’s and he rubs his back, holding him tighter. Baz waits for him to calm down a little, whispering for him to breathe slowly. 

When Simon is only sniffling Baz rest his head on top of his. “I’m so glad you’re okay.” His says in a soothing voice. Simon lets out a single sob, not really with tears, just his body shaking sharply. Baz puts a hand in Simon’s hair, combing it with his finger. 

“Thank you, Baz.”   
“You’re okay, Simon.”   
“I’m okay.”


	12. Gay conspiracy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know i said this was gonna be fun n fluffy but i had to take a turn because the next couple chapters are gonna be like part one and part two BIG GAY so

Baz: “Two days ago, Simon got mugged. His hands are much better and his black eye is... well it’s better than before at least. It still makes me mad just thinking about.” 

Micah: “Penny told me what happened to Simon the other day. But she told me I had to pretend that I didn’t know. I feel kind of bad for him though I wish I could have helped. But I get why he wanted as little people to know as possible.” He shrugs.

Simon: “Yeah, it sucked. Baz letting me cry on him made me feel a lot better though. I’m just relieved the guy got arrested. And Baz told me I should be proud that I knocked him down with one punch.” He smiles so lightly it almost isn’t there.

“Hey, Baz!” Dev calls as he walks up to Baz’s desk. “Yeah?” He turns his chair, leaning back on it. “Me and Niall are going for a drink tonight do you wanna join?” He asks. Baz looks at the papers on his desk, calculating if he can finish all his work in time. “Uh, yeah sure. Sounds good.” 

“Great.” He claps Baz on the shoulder and walks back to accounting. “Have you ever hung out with them outside of work?” Simon whispers to him with a look of confusion. 

“Yeah we used to get drinks all the time. Just haven’t found time lately.”   
“Do you think they’ll let me come?”   
“Probably.”   
“Can you ask for me?”   
“I’m not your mom, Snow.” 

Simon sighs. “Okay I’ll ask them later.” Just as Simon goes back to his work, Dev walks back over.   
“Change of plans!” He says to Baz. “I’ve got to go to dinner with Niall’s mum tonight.” 

Micah chokes on his tea, sputtering a “What?!”   
“No no! Not like that!” He waves his hands in front of him defensively.   
“I’m pet sitting for her next weekend and she wanted to introduce me to her pets so I’m going to her house tonight for dinner.” 

“Is Niall going too?” Penny asks   
“Yeah.”   
“Meeting Niall’s parents already? I think you two are moving to fast.” Baz mocks.  
“Oh ha ha very funny.” Dev rolls his eyes and goes back to his desk again. 

“Y’know, the idea of them dating isn’t actually that odd.” Micah comments.   
“Why do you say that?” Penny asks.   
“I mean- I’m not saying they are but, they’re always hanging out and have you noticed how touchy they are? Plus they carpool so that could mean something? Has anyone been to either of their houses?”   
Baz furrows his brows. 

“Actually, now that you mention it they do go everywhere together. And I’ve never been to their houses so... what if they live together?” He says.

“Why are you guys creating a conspiracy about this? If they’re dating: they’re dating. If they’re not: they’re not.” Simon whisper yells to them. 

“Woah, why are you so angry about this?” Penny asks.  
“I’m not angry!” He realized that he’s still whisper yelling. He clears his throat before continuing. “It’s not our business.” 

“Well that may be true but what if they are dating but just don’t want to tell anyone? Like maybe they’re scared we’re all a bunch of homophobes or something.” Micah says. 

“I’m pretty they know that literally nobody in this office is homophobic.” Baz says, putting down the papers he was pretending to be working on. 

“Someone should ask them.” Agatha says, somehow managing to sneak up to their desk clump. 

“(Bleep!)” Simon flinches, since her voice was right beside him.   
“Sorry!”   
“How much of the conversation did you hear?” Penny asks.   
“Pretty much all of it. My desk is literally two feet away.”   
“I thought I was being quiet.” Simon says, disappointed. Agatha puts a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. “Not that quiet, Simon.” She smiles. He slumps in his seat. 

“But yes, I think someone should ask them.” Agatha repeats. Baz leans forward. 

“Who exactly do you think should ask them?” He questions.   
“You, of course.” She answers. 

His eyes widen at her. She looks back at him with a confused expression before realization dawns on her. She clenches her lips and shakes her head at him. His face relaxes. 

Simon looks between them and them into the camera. He seems worried. 

“Baz, could you help me in the break room?” Agatha asks, although shes already walking towards the annex to get to the room. Baz gets up and follows her. 

Baz: “I really thought she was about to accidentally out me to everyone.” He clutches his head in his hand. 

When they reach the break room Agatha turns to him sharply.   
“None of them know?”   
“No.”   
“And why not?”   
“I don’t know, Agatha. I’m worried.”   
“About what?!” She pokes his chest. Holding his stare.   
“I can’t tell you.” Baz closes his eyes.   
“Tell me.” She pokes him again.  
“No.”   
“Tell me.” Another poke.  
“I can’t-“   
“Dammit, Baz! Tell me!”   
“I’m in love with Simon!” 

Baz’s eyes open wide and he stares at the wall before his eyes flick over to Agatha. 

“(Bleep) I- I didn’t mean to say that.” He sighs and sits on the ground, leaning against the wall.   
Agatha sits next to him.   
“I pretty much already knew, Baz.”   
She leans against him.   
“What?”   
“I see how you look at him. And how worried you get about him. And how much he makes you laugh. I’ve known since Christmas, Baz.”   
“I’ve- I’ve just never... said it out loud like that.”  
“How’d it feel?”   
“Actually, it felt pretty good.” He chuckles shakily. 

Agatha rests her head on his shoulder. “Wanna stay here for a while?”   
Baz loops an arm around her. “Yeah.” 

A moment passes before Baz speaks again. “Agatha?”   
“Yeah?”   
“Thank you.”   
“Of course.” 

The camera zooms in and focuses in on the window in the break room. Simon’s standing there. He can see through the blinds, he looks utterly defeated. 

Baz: “Yeah, Agatha is a really great friend. I get along with her really well actually. And she’s very supportive.” He smiles. 

Agatha and Penny are making tea in the kitchen. “What’d you and Baz talk about?” Penny asks.   
“Oh, I don’t really think I should say. It was pretty personal.” She stirs sugar into her mug.   
“He’s in love with Simon, right?”  
“Penny!”   
“Am I right?”   
“You’re- yes, okay you’re right. But you can’t tell him you know!”   
“Well I already told Micah that I suspected it and he does as well so can I at least tell him?”   
“How often do you seem him outside of work?” Agatha takes a sip of her tea.   
“Actually we’ve gone for a drink almost every night since he brought Lila in last week.”   
“I’m proud of you! Have you been flirting?” Agatha wiggles her brows.   
“Yes actually I think I’m doing pretty we- wait! You’re distracting me!”   
“Okay okay! You can tell Micah. But nobody else!” 

Simon’s asleep at his desk again. His head is pressed to the wood of it. Baz looks at the camera and shakes his head incredulously. 

“Simon.” He shoves his shoulder slightly. Simon mumbles and leans up, slightly awake. “Here.” Baz takes the bear he got him for Christmas from the side of Simons desk and holds it under Simon. 

Simon just looks at it for a second and then he sleepily glares up at Baz. Baz’s eyebrows crease. 

Then Simon pulls the bear from Baz’s grip, and shoves it off the side of the desk, not breaking eye contact with Baz. It hits the floor right as Simon drops his head back onto the desk and closes his eyes. 

Baz’s mouth hangs open. He stares into the camera and then back down at Simon. He scoffs and bends to pick up the bear. Simon opens one eye to see Baz just as he drops the bear in the garbage. 

He closes it as soon as Baz starts to turn back. 

Baz: “What the hell was that? I should have expected he’d go back to hating me but I thought it would have at least happened gradually. Not to be dramatic but my heart is dead.” He smiles tightly and sarcastically. 

Simon: “I feel kind of bad but... I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m doing. What was he doing with Agatha? He said she wasn’t his type. I don’t know.”


	13. Baz cries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me writing MORE angst? More common than you might think! No but at least theres some comic relief and friendships in this chapter im still building up for the valentines party so expect mostly simon and baz ignoring each other but friendships getting stronger.

The camera is on Penny, Micah, and Agatha whispering in the kitchen standing in a group. Baz walks in to go to the bathroom and they immediately stop talking. He looks into the camera with a look of disdain before walking into the bathroom. 

*Penny, Micah, and Agatha are all together* 

Penny: “So we all know that Baz likes Simon”  
Micah: “But I told Penny and Agatha that yesterday Simon totally curved Baz by shoving that bear off the table. The one Baz got him. And he pushed it off when Baz offered it to him.”  
Agatha: “And then Micah said Baz threw it in the garbage.”  
Penny: “And they didn’t talk to each other the rest of the day yesterday, or at all today.”   
They all have concerned looks on their faces. 

Ebb comes out from the annex to everyone in the main room. “I’m officially taking suggestions for the Valentines party on this coming Wednesday. Now I know that only gives us today and then the three days next week, including the day of the party, to get everything together, so I need suggestions before the end of the day please!” She beams at us. 

She puts a clipboard on the reception desk and tells everyone she’ll look over the suggestions at the end of the day.

When she leaves Simon immediately gets up and writes something on the paper. Agatha leans over a bit to try and read it upside down. Her eyebrows raise and she gives a strained, worried smile, into the camera, that looks all wrong. 

Penny an Micah exchange glances and then make eye contact with Agatha. She mouths “Email.” to them and they nod subtly. 

The camera shows Agatha typing and then switches to the second camera which shows the email on Penny’s screen. 

“He wrote ‘a party where we don’t let Baz come’ he must be really mad at him.” The email reads. 

They all look at each other surprised again, but Baz catches on and gets up to look at the paper in curiosity. Their eyes all widen. 

He gets to the paper and scoffs, turning to Simon. “Very classy, Snow.” He turns back around as Simon growls. Baz writes underneath where Simon wrote. Agatha reads it and starts typing again. 

“He said ‘a party where Simon doesn’t mess everything up- oh wait that’s impossible.’ This is a big issue now, code red.” 

Baz seems to pick up on what’s going on, he pulls out three sticky notes and writes the same thing on all of them. “Break room. 3 minutes.” And he slides them on Agatha’s desk, Penny’s desk, and Micah’s desk, before heading there himself. 

They get up once three minutes have passed. Simon is suspicious as to why they all got up at the same time, and he looks into the camera confusedly. 

“What’s going on?” Baz asks as soon as the door is closed behind them. 

“Why are you and Simon fighting?” Agatha retorts. 

“I don’t know! He started it! I didn’t even do anything I just offered him that stupid bear and he just became a total prat.” He takes a deep breath. “Wait... why are all of you so concerned about this?” 

“Baz uh-“ Penny starts.

“Did you tell them?!” Baz exclaims. 

“No! They... already had their suspicions.” She says quietly. 

“Oh my god...” Baz groans and sits down on a chair, pressing his hands to his face and making a monotone sound of displeasure. 

“Don’t worry dude we’re not gonna tell him.” Micah says. 

“Thanks.” He mumbles into his hands. 

“We still need to figure out why he’s mad at you.” Penny brings up as she sits down with him. 

“I don’t know. I’m pretty sure I didn’t do anything. And I thought we were finally getting somewhere after he got mugged, because he let me take care of him but... I don’t know what I did wrong.” He laughs sadly and sniffs hard. 

Agatha rubs a hand on his back and Micah sits down too. 

“Ah... why am I such a baby about this?” He laughs again. 

“If you want to cry that’s okay, Baz. We understand how bad it must have felt.” Micah claps a hand his shoulder firmly. And penny gets up to grab a paper towel for him to blow his nose. He cries a little bit and wipes his nose with the tissue. 

Agatha’s still rubbing his back and Micah’s holding one of his hands firmly, when Simon walks in. His eyes scan the situation and they widen. Everyone looks up at him and he starts to stutter something. 

“Get out!” Baz shouts. He takes a sharp inhale before nodding tightly and leaving. When he’s gone Baz makes that monotone sound again and Penny gets up to crouch on the ground in front of him placing a hand on his knee. “It’s gonna be okay, Baz.” She says softly. He nods and blows his nose one more time before getting up and throwing the towel away. 

“Thank you guys.” He says, his voice thick from crying. They all say something like ‘of course’ or ‘no problem’ and they all leave together. On their way out Baz stops by the fridge and takes out a piece of cake he brought in yesterday, it’s still good. 

He sits back at his desk, puts his earphones into the computer and turns on netflix, eating his cake quietly. 

Ebb comes out to check on the suggestions for the party since it’s almost time to leave. She frowns for a second, probably having read Simon and Baz’s suggestions, but she goes back to normal quickly. 

“Who wrote this about match making? It’s kind of a good idea! Although there isn’t a ton of people in the office, it would still be fun just to see who’d be good with who, theoretically!” 

Agatha beams at her. “I wrote it!” Ebb smiles and nods before going back to reading the list. “Alright! I’m going to take everything into consideration and by Monday I’ll have a list of things we need for the party.” She walks back to the annex with her clipboard. 

When it’s time to leave Micah asks Baz if he wants to come to get drinks with him and Penny. “Yeah, sure. Just let me stamp some of these real quick.” He finishes his work fast and grabs his coat from his chair. “Ready, Basil?” Penny walks past him, slapping his back jokingly. He chuckles and shakes his head as he walks out with them. 

“Wanna walk out with me, Simon?” Agatha says standing beside his desk. “Uh, yeah sure.” He puts his papers away and stands to walk out with her. 

Simon: “Why was he crying? And why is he going out for drinks with them? And why isn’t Agatha going with him. I mean he obviously changed his mind about dating her. Did you see them in the break room yesterday?” He clears his throat and scrunches his nose. 

The camera is on Penny, Baz, and Micah at the bar. Baz is picking at his fries laughing at something Penny said. She takes a sip of soda. 

“So when you guys say you’ve been going out for ‘drinks’ you mean like soft drinks and nachos?” Baz asks shoving a fry in his mouth. 

Micah laughs. “Yeah, pretty much.” 

“You know, you fit in really well here Micah.” He claps a hand on his shoulder before eating another fry. 

“Thanks, Baz.” He laughs and steals one of his fries. After a few minutes he gets up to go to the bathroom. 

“Do you think he’s interested in me?” Penny asks Baz as soon as he’s gone. “Are you kidding? He’s practically on your leash, he’s almost always with you.” She bites her lip trying not to smile. 

“Ugh... he makes me feel like a gross teenager with a mushy crush or something.” She groans. Baz laughs and pushes the basket of fries to her. “Want the rest?” Instead of answering she squirts ketchup on them and picks one out, eating it. 

“You’re a monster, Bunce.” He laughs.


	14. When it rains, it pours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: back at it again with the no proof reading before i post chapters 
> 
> We make typos and live with them, like men

The camera is on Baz and Agatha as they walk into the office for the day. They’re chatting about something as they hang their coats up and Agatha sits at reception and Baz stand and leans at her desk while they continue talking. Simon, Penny, and Micah are all already in. 

Simon looks at the camera with a blank face before looking back at the pair. 

Simon: “Okay... so a quick recap. Baz is... with Agatha? That’s still debatable but it certainly looks like they were together. But more importantly Baz was crying in the break room and Agatha, Penny, and Micah were all consoling him. And when I walked in he yelled at me to get out. So... I don’t know what’s going on.” He shrugs and shakes his head. 

Ebb: “So today is Monday, and I’ve decided the match making idea Agatha suggested would be fun! Obviously it’s nothing serious but it’s just something I think would be interesting.” She laughs softly. 

“Alright guys! I have a list of supplies we need for the party! One is for food but we shouldn’t get that until the day of. But I have the list of decorations and party favors. Two people can go, and I’ll leave the list up here for whoever wants to go.” Ebb announces and puts the paper on Agatha’s desk and goes back to the annex. 

Baz gets up to look at the list with Agatha. 

“Do you want to come with me? I think I’ll leave now since there’s nothing else to do.” Baz asks her. 

“No wait! I want to come!” Simon scrambles out of his chair and grabs his coat. Agatha and Baz exchange glances before Baz folds the list and grabs his own coat. 

“Alright.” He mumbles. 

Their car ride is quiet as Baz drives and Simon just stares out the window at the cold grey rain, looking down at his phone occasionally. 

They get there and Baz grabs a cart for him and one for Simon. He rips the list in half and hands the bottom half to Simon. 

“You get this stuff and I’ll get this stuff.” He says not meeting Simon’s eyes. 

“No. I want to shop with you.” Simon says confidently. 

Baz furrows his brows and looks at him square in the eyes. 

“Why?” He asks with his jaw clenched. 

“Listen I know I was sort of a dick. But I- I don’t know I just got mad about you and Agatha.” He shakes his head. 

“What about me and Agatha?” Baz asks, confused. 

“Well... You guys are dating right?” 

Baz scoffs and puts away the second cart he had pulled out. 

“I’m not dating Wellbelove.” He snatches the paper from Simon’s hand and starts walking with his cart. 

Simon stares at the camera and then at Baz as he walks away calmly. 

“Are you coming?” He calls over his shoulder. Simon sprints to catch up. 

The camera is on Penny, Agatha, and Micah where they sit in the kitchen drinking tea. 

“Why do you think Simon wanted to go with him so badly?” Micah asks. 

“Maybe he wanted to patch things up with Baz.” Penny says. 

Agatha mummers in agreement as she takes a sip from her mug. 

“How long do you think they’ll be out?” Penny asks. 

“Well, it was a long list.” Agatha says. 

Baz: “Okay Simon is in the bathroom. But I feel the need to mention how I have no idea what the (bleep) is going on.” He jumps as Simon calls for him a couple isles away. 

“Hey I found a ton of stuff on the way back from the bathroom.” He says, dumping a load of decorations into Baz’s cart.

“Nice. I got a couple things while you were gone.” He motions to the cart while he scans the list. “We only need a few more things and we’ll be good to go.” 

They get the rest of the supplies and check out. When they walk out of the door and stand underneath the overhang with their cart full of stuff they stop. 

“It’s raining really hard.” Simon says, hugging his arms around himself at the cold. 

“Yeah, you stay here and I’ll bring the car around.” Baz says and puts his hands over his head as he sprints to his car. 

He pulls up and gets out to open the trunk, helping Simon load up the bags of decorations. 

“It’s so cold!” Simon shouts to Baz over the rain. 

“I know!” He shouts back. 

Simon runs to put the cart back and comes back to slide into the passenger seat quickly making a sound of relief at the feel of Baz’s car being warm. 

“Ready?” Baz asks. 

“Yeah.” 

They drive back to the office. It’s raining even harder but Baz forgets to pull up to the entrance and by the time Simon reminds him, he’s already parked. 

“Damn it.” He mumbles and goes to turn his car back on but Simon stops him. 

“Let’s just stay in here a little while.” 

“Alright.” 

A few silent seconds go by, all that can be heard is the pouring rain. 

“So you’re not dating Agatha?” Simon asks suddenly. 

“No. But if you’re interested in getting her back I can put in a good word.” 

“No I don’t want her back.” 

“Then why were you so mad at me?” 

Simon doesn’t respond right away. 

“I guess just because you had said before you didn’t like her but then I saw you guys together and I just got mad. I don’t know.” 

“Wait, what do you mean you saw us together?” 

“You guys were in the break room. Like, hugging kind of.” 

“Oh. No she was just... letting me vent.” He laughs sadly. 

“What- what’s wrong? I mean I know I’ve been stupid these last few days and I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have overreacted so- if I can do anything to help- just let me know.” He puts his hand on Baz’s gently. 

Baz looks down at Simon’s hand on his, and flips his over to hold his hand. 

“Thanks, Simon.” 

Simon smiles. 

“I’m sorry I threw your bear away.” Baz says. 

“It’s okay. You just have to get me another one now.” 

Baz laughs and takes his hand away from Simon and turns his car on. 

“Let’s go get one right now.” He pulls out of the lot. 

“Wait, right now?!” Simon laughs. 

Baz nods and drives. 

The camera is on Agatha where she stands looking out the window. She glances to the camera with her eyebrows raised and she walks to the sales desk clump, to Penny and Micah. 

“Guys they parked and then left again after a few minutes.” She tells them. 

“Maybe they forgot something?” Micah shrugs. 

Simon and Baz are walking through the store. 

“Which one do you want?” Baz asks with his hands on his hips, looking at the section of the wall with stuffed animals. 

“No no! You have to pick it out. I’m gonna go grab a snack while you decide.” He squeezes Baz’s arm as he walks past him. 

When Simon meets him at the exit they’ve both got a bag each. 

“I got a piece of cake.” Simon holds up his bag. “What did you get me?” He bounces excitedly. 

“Hold your horses, Snow. I’ll show you once we’ve succeeded in getting to the car.” 

Simon huffs but stays close to Baz in the pestering rain. 

Simon opens his door to put the cake in the seat before he gets in.

“Here!” Baz yells to Simon so he can be heard over the rain and hands him the bag. 

Simon pulls the stuffed animal out, with his arms in the car so it doesn’t get wet. 

It’s a light pink bear, holding a red heart with both hands. Simon smiles and puts it down before turning to Baz and pulling him into a hug. 

He wraps his arms around Baz’s middle and presses his face into his chest, near his shoulder. 

“I’m really sorry I was such an idiot.” He mumbles. 

“It’s okay. You’re always an idiot.” Baz wraps his arms around Simon’s neck, running his hands through his curls. “Can’t we hug somewhere else though? It’s raining really hard.” 

“No.” Simon pulls him closer. “I missed you. Talking to you, more specifically. It felt weird. It feels even more weird to think that we used to hate each other. I don’t think I ever really hated you though, you just pissed me off a lot.” 

“You still piss me off. But I’m glad we’re friends.” Baz pushes Simon’s sopping hair away from his face. 

Simon pulls away. 

“Sorry. We’re both soaking now.” Simon laughs. 

They get in the car. “We can go to my place and I’ll give you a change of clothes. If you want.” Baz says. 

Simon’s eyes widen a little bit. “Okay.” 

The camera is back on the office.  
Micah and Agatha are in the break room chatting and waiting for an update from Penny. 

“They still aren’t here.” Penny sighs as she walks in and gets a bag of chips from the vending machine. 

Baz unlocks the door of his apartment and holds it open for Simon. 

Baz’s apartment is clean and well organized, as expected. He takes his coat off and throws it in the laundry room. Simon stares at his wet shirt, taut over his chest and arms. 

Simon looks into the camera with a face of pleading. 

Simon, in Baz’s bathroom: “This was a very, very bad idea.” 

He walks out of the bathroom and takes his own coat off, putting it where Baz put his. When he goes to take his shirt off he’s interrupted halfway through unbuttoning. Baz walks in, shirtless, and throws his shirt into the washing machine. 

“Oh, you’re already in here. I was just going to tell you that you can put your stuff in wash and I’ll get it to you tomorrow.” He says before he walks out again, starting to undo his belt. 

Simon only blinks. “I repeat: Bad idea.” He says to the camera. 

“Hey, what have you got that I can borrow?” Simon says, walking out in his pants even though they’re wet. 

Baz walks out of his room in dress pants and a new button up. “Look in the dresser in here.” He points over his shoulder to the room. Simon goes in and rummages through as neatly as he can. 

“This is weird but can I get a pair of briefs or something?” Simon winces. 

“Bottom drawer.” Baz calls. 

Simon quickly changes into clothes that probably aren’t really business casual. He wears a pair of black jeans and a pale pink hooded sweatshirt. 

“I can’t believe you own this.” Simon laughs and throws his wet clothes into the laundry room. 

Baz groans. “Yeah yeah, let’s just get back.” 

When they get back it takes several trips to get all the supplies into the building. Penny’s eyes widen at the notice that they’ve both changed clothes.

When they get everything settled into the conference room Penny goes up to Agatha and whispers to her. Agatha gets up and goes to the kitchen. Penny scribbles something on a post it and folds it up, dropping it on Baz’s desk when Simon isn’t looking. Then she taps Micah on her way to meet Agatha in the kitchen. Micah leaves a few seconds later as well. 

The camera zooms on the note. “Leave a few seconds after Micah leaves. Meet us in the kitchen.” It reads. 

Baz does exactly that. As soon as the door closes behind him Agatha crosses her arms. 

“Spill.” She says. 

Baz sighs and tells them everything that happened. They gape at him. 

“You need to tell him how you feel.” Micah says. 

“Are you crazy?!” Baz exclaims, looking around suspiciously and continuing in a normal voice. “I barely survived when he stopped talking to me I’m not going to ruin that.” 

They argue a bit, trying to convince Baz to do something already, but he tells them he’d rather just wait it out. They break apart and everyone goes back to their desks. 

By the end of the day everyone is leaving. Penny and Micah get a drink like most nights, but Agatha joins them tonight. Ebb is being especially sentimental today, probably because of the sad weather, and kisses Simon on the cheek before she leaves. He smiles with his nose scrunched up and gives her a quick hug. 

Baz raises his eyebrows and grins at him. 

“Shut up. She’s like a parent to me.” 

“I can see that. Ready to go?” 

“Yeah.” 

They ride the elevator down and stay under the overhang for a little while just listening to the rain, hoping it’ll let up for a minute so they can run to their cars. 

“Hey, Baz?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Could I- I mean, would you like to hang out? Tonight I mean.” He stumbles over his words. 

Baz smiles when he looks at the rain. “Sure. Want to come back to my place? We can watch a movie or something.” He turns to Simon. 

“Yeah. That’d be nice.” He smiles back. 

“Let’s make a break for it.” Baz grabs Simon’s hand and runs to his car. 

“Woah!” Simon laughs. 

They reach Baz’s car and laugh as they catch their breath. 

The ride to Baz’s apartment is full of Simon singing along to the radio and Baz rolling his eyes (affectionately). 

“It’s going to end up flooding really bad if the rain doesn’t let up.” Baz says, unlocking his door. 

“I could take a swim in it.” 

“If you want hypothermia; Go for it.” 

Simon laughs and puts his shoes at the entrance next to Baz’s. 

“I’m gonna make hot chocolate because I’m freezing. Do you want some?” Baz asks going to his kitchen. 

“Yes, please.” Simon answers as he sits on the couch. 

“You have a cat?!” Simon yells. 

“Yes.” 

“I didn’t see it before!” 

“Well we were only here for a few minutes. Her name is Cinnamon.” 

“Is it because she looks like Cinnamon?” 

“No, it’s because back when she was a stripper her name was Cinnamon.” He says sarcastically. 

“Shut up!” Simon laughs. 

Baz brings out the mugs and hands one to Simon. 

“Thank you.” He smiles and sits on the ground when Cinnamon comes to him. 

“I love her.” He says as she nuzzles against his hand and lays on his lap. 

Baz laughs and comments about how she seems to love him too. 

“I’m gonna put pajamas on, if you don’t mind.” 

“Go for it.” He finishes off his drink and gently pulls Cinnamon off of his lap so he can put it in the sink. 

Baz comes back out with red plaid sweatpants and a black long sleeve shirt with a rainbow on the chest. 

“Nice pajamas.” Simon comments. 

“I hope you’re not being sarcastic.” 

“I’m not you, so I’m not being sarcastic.” He smiles. Baz laughs and sits on the couch, pulling his feet up underneath him. 

“I have movies on that shelf. You can pick one.” He points. 

Simon looks through them and pulls one out. 

“I can’t believe you have a rom-com.” He laughs. Holding up a movie called ‘I Hate Valentines Day’

“It’s a good movie. Sue me.” He shrugs. 

“Let’s watch it. It seems appropriate since Valentines Day is soon.” 

Simon sits beside Baz after he puts the movie in. Cinnamon hops onto the couch between them and Simon pets her absentmindedly. 

Halfway through the movie Simon’s stomach growls. 

“Hungry?” Baz smirks. 

“Maybe.” 

“We can order something. Takeout or Pizza.” 

“Does that Italian place deliver here?” Simon asks. 

“Yeah, I have one of their menus.” Baz pauses the movie and pads his way into the kitchen, opening a drawer and taking out the menu. 

“Here.” He hands the menu to Simon. 

“I don’t have to look at it. My stomach is telling me to get spaghetti.” 

“The Flying Spaghetti Monster...” Baz mumbles. 

“What?” 

“Have you never heard of The Flying Spaghetti Monster?” Baz’s eyes widen. 

“No?” The tilt of his voice making it sound like a question. 

“Look it up while I pick what I want to eat.” He takes the menu from him. 

“What the (bleep)?”

“I know!” 

“It’s like... a religion?” He chuckles. 

Baz calls the restaurant and makes an order. After he’s done they resume the movie. The food gets there about twenty minutes later and they eat on the couch while they watch. 

The movie is over and now it’s dark outside.

“Do you want me to take you home now or...?” Baz trails off as he notices Simon looking at the window. 

“Actually... Just come look out here.”

Baz walks to the window and sees the storm. There’s lightning and thunder and water has started to collect on the streets. 

“I might have to stay here... if thats okay.” Simon mutters. 

“Yeah that’s- that’s fine. Oh god, you’re gonna have to stay here too aren’t you?” He asks to the cameraman. The camera just makes a nodding motion and Baz sighs. 

“Well we’ve got to find something else to do because it’s only 8pm.” 

“We can watch another movie.” Simon suggests. 

“Alright. I’m picking though.” 

“Of course.” He smiles. 

Baz ends up picking Back To The Future. 

“I hope you realize that now I’m going to have to watch the other two with you at some point.” Simon yawns after the movie is over. 

“What a shame.” He shakes his head. “Do you want pajama pants or something?” 

“Sure.” 

He gets Simon a pair of blue joggers and a normal white T-shirt. 

“Uh... Okay. You can sleep on the couch if you don’t mind.” He says to the Cameraman. The camera nods. 

“You can sleep on my bed, Snow. And I’ll sleep on the floor.” 

“Don’t be ridiculous! You’ve got a big bed.” He waves his hand and walks into Baz’s bedroom. Baz stares at the camera and shakes his head desperately. 

The camera can zoom in on Baz’s room. Simon lays in between Baz and the wall, his head just resting on Baz’s shoulder. 

“Goodnight, Baz.” Simon yawns again. 

“Goodnight, Simon.” Baz smiles.


	15. Painting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any typos i didnt proof read at all this is kinda just a fluffy filler chapter

The camera is on Simon and Baz in bed. Simon has his face pressed into Baz’s side and Baz has an arm over Simon’s head. An alarm goes off and Baz practically shoots out of bed. He slams on the button and rolls out of bed and onto the floor ungracefully and groaning. 

Simon stirs and stretches lazily. Baz’s phone rings. 

“Hello?” He says raspy when he answers it. 

“Hey it’s Agatha. I just wanted to tell you no ones coming in since it’s flooded.” 

“It’s flooded?” 

“Yeah haven’t you looked outside.” 

Baz pulls back the curtains of his window and lifts a blind up. 

“Woah.” 

“Yeah. So no ones going in today. It’ll probably be okay by tomorrow.” 

“Alright. Thanks for letting me know.” 

“No problem. See you.” 

“See you.” 

Bag hangs up and wakes Simon up. 

“Who was that?” Simon yawns.

“No work today. Flooded.” 

“What are we supposed to do all day then.” 

Baz shrugs. 

The camera cuts to Baz making coffee and Simon looking through his cabinets. 

“Can I eat these?” Simon holds up a bag of veggie straws. 

“For breakfast?” 

“Yeah.” 

“I guess.” Baz grumbles. 

“You’re so grumpy.” 

“It’s 7am.” 

“Why do you wake up so early anyway? You don’t even have to be in until 9.” 

“I’m high maintenance.” 

“I guess I can believe that.” 

Baz just huffs and drinks his coffee. 

“What are we gonna do today?” Simon asks.

“I don’t know. What do you want to do?” 

“We can watch more movies I guess.”

“You’re gonna end up getting bored and pestering me.” 

“Probably.”

Baz sighs and rinses his empty cup in the sink. Cinnamon comes sauntering in from a spare room. 

“Hi Cinnamon.” Simon smiles a bends down to pet her. 

“What do you use that spare room for?” Simon asks.

“Nothing.” Baz says a little top fast.

“I can see stuff in there, Baz.” 

The camera zooms in on the cracked door. There is stuff in there. 

“It’s nothing important.” 

“Can I go in?” 

“Snow...” 

“Please.” He begs. 

“Fine.” Baz says tightly.

“Yay!” Simon stands up and hugs him quickly as a thank you. 

“Woah!” He exclaims when he walk in the room. The camera follows him. 

Inside the room are boxes full of paint and paintbrushes and sponges. There’s two easels, blank canvases in stacks against one wall. There’s a canvas on one of the easels with a halfway finished painting. It’s of a young boy with shiny black hair. He’s looking down at his palms and smiling. In his palms is a ray of rainbow. He’s sitting on the ground, and there’s a chair behind him with a woman in it. 

She’s got her hair in a bun at the back of her head, some strands out and framing her face. She looks a lot like Baz. Thick black hair, tan skin that looks orange with the streaks of light coming from presumably a window, which is probably also how the boy had a rainbow in his hands. 

Actually, the boy looks a lot like Baz too. 

The painting is incredibly realistic even though the edges of it aren’t finished. Only the people and the places they sit are finished. 

Baz pushes the door back a little and walks in.

“Why have you never told me you can paint so well?” 

“It never came up.” 

“This is amazing.” Simon points at the canvas. 

“Thanks.” Baz says bashfully. 

“Is it you? Or does it just look like you?” 

“It’s me. And that’s my mom in the chair.” 

“You look so much like her.” 

“I guess.” 

“Show me more.” Simon smiles at Baz.

Baz rolls his eyes and opens a closet with more boxes. He drags them out and Simon sees they’re full of paintings.

Simon pulls some out. There’s one of dandelions in some girls hand. You can’t see anything besides her hand. There’s another one of two boys sitting at a river with their feet in the water. One has light brown hair and the other has dark brown hair and their holding hands. Another one is a girl sitting on a bench with a bird beside her. 

Simon smiles as he looks through them all. There’s so many and they’re all so incredibly realistic. 

“I can’t believe you never told me about this. You’re brilliant at it.” 

Baz smiles and looks away. 

“Can you paint me?” Simon asks. 

“I- if you want.” Baz shrugs. 

“Yeah! I’d love it!” 

“Do you want to paint today?” 

“I don’t thing I’m very good.” Simon laughs. 

“You can just pass it off as abstract.” 

Simon grins and nods his head. 

“Let’s paint. You should eat first though.” 

Baz nods and leaves the room. 

 

They start painting after they’ve watched some TV. 

“What do you want me to paint you doing?” Baz asks, grabbing some paints and brushes, getting some for Simon too. 

“That’s for you to decide.” He smiles and accepts the paint Baz hands to him. 

“You know it usually takes me a couple days to finish a painting. So don’t expect me to finish today.” 

“Well we have all day so maybe it won’t take a couple days.” Simon beams at him. 

The corners of Baz’s mouth quirk up before he turns. 

The paint and after a few hours Simon’s done because it’s not like he was trying to do anything realistic like Baz. 

“I’m finished.” Simon says.

Baz looks over. Simon painted a a flower. Its light pink with orange spots on the petals. The background is a simple dark pink. Baz smiles. 

“This is good.” 

“It’s... alright I guess. It’s not as good as yours are.” 

“Simon I’ve been painting since I was 9. And this is a million times better than what my first paintings looked like.” 

Simon smiles. “Thanks. Let me see yours.” 

“No, you can’t see until I’m finished. Go watch a movie or something.” 

Simon huffs but trudges to the living room. 

Another six hours later and Baz is done. He didn’t even stop to eat lunch or dinner, denying food when Simon told him go come eat. 

“Finished!” 

Simon hops off the couch and walks into the room. 

The painting is of Simon sitting in grass, his arms behind him propping him up. He’s wearing a white button up and a blazer sits folded on the small part of his legs that can be seen. There’s daisies in his curls and his hair is golden in the sunlight. The sky is blue and there’s a few wispy clouds in the patch of sky that’s seen. He has a big smile on his face and his dimple is showing. Somehow Baz managed to perfect almost every mole and freckle on Simon’s face and the slight blush on Simon in the painting makes him actually blush. 

Simon smiles and bites his lip. He turns his eyes to Baz and sees him looking for approval. When he sees Simon’s smile his face relaxes and a small smile lands on his face as well. 

“Do you like it?” 

Simon just surges forward and pulls Baz into a hug. 

“I love it.” He says. 

“I’ll paint anything else for you when I have the time.” 

“I’d like that.” 

Baz finally eats and they watch some more TV before going to bed again. It was just kind of unspoken that Simon would have to stay the night again. 

The cameraman sleeps on the couch again but the camera catches Simon curl up against Baz.


	16. Valentines day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What up little shawties sorry ive been kinda slow with updates for fics :/ im actually almost done with a fake dating au fic now so prepare for that :,))

When Simon wakes up to an alarm clock he panics for a moment because he’s not in his bed. But he remembers that he’s in Baz’s bed and he calms down. Baz is already of bed and the camera focuses on him drinking coffee in the kitchen. 

“Hey.” Simon mumbles when he sits across him at the table. 

“I put clothes on the chair over there. Some I think would fit you.” 

Simon nods and gets up again. He ends up wearing the pants that Baz dried for him yesterday. And a pink button up with a red tie. 

“All ready?” Baz asks when he grabs his keys. 

“Yep.” 

They head out to Baz’s car and drive to work. 

Simon: “Did I mention that I kind of like him? I mean like, in a romantic way. If I didn’t mention that already well then...” He shrugs. 

The camera is on the conference room where Ebb, Agatha, and Micah are all decorating for the party. 

“I just realized it’s valentines day.” Simon says to Baz. 

“Very keen observation skills.” Baz smirks jokingly. 

“I didn’t get anyone any gifts!” He says worriedly. 

“Relax. I don’t think anyone’s gonna be heartbroken because you didn’t get them candy.” He shrugs. Simon only frowns and goes to the room to help decorate. 

Soon Dev and Niall get there and help as well. 

“I’m going to print up the match maker tests!” Ebb claps her hands together cheerfully and walks to her desk. 

Penny comes in an hour late, huffing angrily. 

“Sorry I’m late.” 

“What happened?” Micah asks worried. 

“My apartment complex was still too flooded in the parking area so I had to walk.” 

“Why didn’t you just call in? One of us could have come to get you.” Baz says. 

Penny looks dumbfounded. “I’m gonna kill myself. I didn’t even think about that.” She groans and slumps into her seat. 

“I’ll drive you home tonight if you want.” Micah smiles at her. 

“Thanks.” She smiles back. 

Baz and Simon look at each other and wiggle their eyebrows. 

It’s just after lunchtime when Agatha announces that they’ve finished decorating, and that Dev and Niall are going to get snacks and drinks. 

“Hey Penny, want to come have tea with me?” Baz asks. She nods and they both get up. 

“Oh my god. You won’t believe this.” Baz whispers when they’re sitting in the kitchen. 

“What?” 

“Simon came to my place the day it started raining. And it was raining so bad he had to spend the night. And he spent last night too.” 

“Holy Hell! Did you guys... y’know...” 

“Ha. No.” He frowns. “But it was super overwhelming.” 

“Hey- remember what me and Agatha said! Don’t go back to trying to hate him just because it’s getting intense.” 

Then Ebb walks in. 

“Hey guys! Here’s a copy of the test for you. Try to have it done at least twenty minutes before the party so I can add everything up before then.” She hands them each a pink paper with questions. Some have multiple options and others are like a written response. 

“Thanks, Ebb.” Penny smiles. 

“How are things with Micah going?” Baz asks after he’s read through the paper. 

“Pretty well! I think he might ask me out to dinner soon.” 

The camera is on Simon’s desk as he leans on his hand and stares at the match making quiz.

“Baz. I need help.” 

“What? It’s literally just your opinion and preferences.” 

“Yeah but... it’s hard.” 

“Just- just put whatever feels right.” He shakes his head. 

The camera focuses more on the blank test so the words can be clearly seen. They read as follows:

1- ‘What is your favorite holiday?’ 

2- ‘How do you feel about kids?’ 

3- ‘What would constitute a “perfect” date for you?’

4- ‘What is your most treasured memory?’ 

5- ‘If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?’

6- ‘What are you looking for in a relationship?’

7- ‘What do you do for fun?’

8- ‘Do you believe in love at first sight?’ 

9- ‘What’s your favorite animal?’ 

10- ‘If you won a lottery, how would you spend your millions?’ 

And as Simon flips over to the second side the multiple choice questions come into focus. They read as follows:

1- ‘What’s your favorite season?’   
A.Spring B.Summer C.Fall D.Winter

2- ‘Favorite physical feature of a person?’   
A.Eyes B.Hair C.Physique D.Other: 

3- ‘Are you a morning or night person?’   
A.Morning B.Night C.Both D.Neither

4- ‘Which do you prefer most?’   
A.Sweet food B.Salty food  
C.Sour/bitter food D.Complex tastes. 

5- ‘Would you ever get a tattoo? (if you don’t already have one).’   
A.Yes B.No C.If it was meaningful D.I’d get practically anything 

“Jesus Christ. Number 5 on the front...” Simon says. 

“Ebb got deep.” Micah laughs. 

Baz taps his pen on number 8 and looks at Simon when he’s not paying attention. After he looks back down at the question again, he writes a tight ‘yes.’ on the line.

When everyone is done, Ebb comes by to collect them. 

Ebb: “Simon and Baz have the exact same answer for number 5! They both said “Telling someone that I love them. I haven’t done it because I’m scared.” That’s crazy. I might set them up just from that answer alone.” She laughs. 

“It’s party time guys!” Ebb says from the doorway of the room. Everyone lines up in front of her. “I’m going to be giving everyone a sticker with their name and a number. The number you have will also be on the person you matched with. And I’ve set up some simple little ‘speed dating’ type questions on the table incase anyone wanted to use them for fun. Let’s get started!” 

She puts a sticker on Agatha that has a 3 on it and laughs and tells her that they’re matched together. Agatha laughs with her. She puts one on Dev, he’s got a 4. One on Micah, he’s got a 2. One on Niall, he’s got a 4. One on Simon, he’s got a 1. One on Penny, she’s got a 2. And one on Baz, he’s got a 1. 

Dev and Niall high five when they see that they matched. They stuff their faces with heart shaped cookies and drink pink lemonade. Ebb and Agatha talk for a while like they normally do. Micah and Penny read through the speed dating questions but keep drifting off topic. 

And Simon and Baz just kind of stand there. 

“So...” Simon rocks on his feet, not looking fully at Baz. 

“Yeah.” Baz drinks his soda. 

“Do you uh... want to look at the... the um, the question things?” 

“If you want to, sure.” He shrugs. 

Simon looks into the camera like he’s begging for help. 

“No I mean... they’re probably kind of stupid anyway.” He laughs awkwardly. Baz nods his head and stares absently at a heart decoration on the wall. 

“Hang on.” Simon says suddenly. He dips out of the room to grab a bag from his desk drawer. “You know how I said I left for lunch?” 

“Yeah...” 

“Well I may have stopped and gotten this.” He smiles and hands the bag to Baz. 

Baz opens it and pulls a small red and gold rose keychain out. It’s simple and elegant and not too flashy. It’s perfect for Baz. 

“Wow I... thank you.” His lips quirk up slightly at Simon’s grin. 

“The least I could do for you getting me a replacement stuffed animal.” He laughs. Baz pulls his keys out and hooks the keychain on to the ring. 

Simon throws away the bag and turns back to Baz. 

“Let’s get some of that chocolate over there.” Simon points to the table in the corner and pulls Baz with him. 

After an hour and some, everyone starts cleaning up and dividing the remaining food. 

“I may have left something else out.” Simon says when they’re the last people in the building. 

“What?” Baz asks, confused. 

“Go outside, I’ll meet you there in a second.” 

“Alright.” He shrugs. 

Simon: “I got these red roses and hid them in the annex in a vase of water. I kept the plastic stuff on the stems so they look like I just got them still.” He smiles proudly. 

“Hey.” Simon says from behind Baz. 

“H-“ Baz’s mouth falls open when he sees Simon holding a dozen roses to him. 

“Happy valentines day.” 

“Simon...” He smiles a little bit.

“I’m in love with you.” Simon whispers.

Baz’s mouth moves like he’s about to say something. But then he steps forward and cups Simon’s face and presses his lips to his. Simon gasps quietly and puts his hand on Baz’s neck after a second of realizing what was happening. 

He pushes his lips against Baz’s slowly and passionately, their noses bumping and a sigh escaping Baz’s nose when their lips part slightly. 

Simon pants a little bit when they pull away from each other. Baz’s hand is still on his face and his is still on Baz’s neck. 

“If I had known a dozen roses was all it took for you to kiss me, I would have done it a long time ago.” Simon whispers against Baz’s lips.

“If I had known you wanted me to kiss you, I would have done it a long time ago.” Baz whispers back. “And for the record; I’m in love with you too.”

“Kiss me again.” 

And so Baz does. He cups his face and runs his other hand through Simon’s curls gently. After a few more seconds of letting their lips mold together, they pull apart with a small sound. Simon smiles up at Baz and bites his lip trying to contain it. Baz smiles softly back. 

Baz leans in and kisses his cheek. 

“Thank you for the roses.” He says quietly. Simon nods. “Let’s get you home.” 

When Baz walks Simon to his door his hums in surprise when Simon pulls him forward by the tie and kisses him. He puts his hands on Simon’s waist and Simon arches up to him and puts his arms around his neck, hands combing through his hair. 

They kiss until Simon can’t breathe so he sadly pulls his lips away. 

“Do you want to carpool tomorrow? I can come get you.” Simon asks. Baz huffs in amusement. 

“Sure.” He sighs in content when Simon kisses him again. 

“Goodnight, Simon.” Baz smiles. 

“Goodnight, Baz.” Simon smiles back. 

They exchange one more kiss and Simon goes inside.


	17. Boyfriends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAA IM SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING SOONER i had this written a few weeks ago but i just kept forgetting to post it :/ and then i fell into a slump and gave up on the carry on countdown but i still might post some of the longer ones I’ve already written   
> P.s. after this chapter the time jumps are going to be like a week apart, if that makes any sense. Like how the actual show is. Yeah youll get it ok love u guys

“So me and Baz kissed last night. I don’t think we really clarified what we are though.” He says to the camera as he’s driving. “I’m about to pick him up right now.” 

When Simon walks up to Baz’s door he knocks lightly and waits. 

“Hey.” Simon says when Baz walks out and locks the door behind him. He leans down slightly and kisses Simon sweetly. Simon makes a surprised sound but grabs his hand lightly and kisses him back. 

“Hi.” Baz smiles when he pulls back. 

Simon matches his smile and pulls him along to his car. 

“Hey guys!” Agatha chirps when they walk in. 

“Hey, Ags.” Simon smiles. 

Ebb and Micah are sitting in the break room with Dev and Niall. 

“Should we have a party for St. Patricks day?” Niall asks. 

“That could be fun. It would have to be more contained than the Christmas and Valentines parties were. It is a smaller holiday.” 

“I’m gonna wear one of those ‘kiss me I’m Irish’ shirts.” Dev laughs. 

“You aren’t even Irish!” Niall pokes his arm. 

Penny sits at her desk, typing. She leans over so she’s closer to Simon and Baz’s desks. 

“Me and Micah have a real date tonight.” She whispers, smiling. 

“Hell yeah!” Simon high fives her. 

“Good going, Bunce.” Baz nods in approval. 

“So... you guys matched last night. How was that?” 

They both laugh awkwardly and Penny looks into the camera with suspicion. But she doesn’t push it. 

Lunch time comes around and Simon’s eating alone in the break room. 

“Hey.” Baz walks in and sits with him. 

“Hi.” They eat for a minute with some small talk. 

“Listen... I know we kissed and I just-“ Simon starts. 

“Please don’t tell me you regret it or something...” 

“No! No, that’s not what I was going to say! I just... want to know what we are I guess. If that makes sense?” He scrunches his brows. 

“Well, I did tell you that I’m in love with you. So I figured that was pretty clear as to what I wanted.” 

“So you... want to be like- like boyfriends.” 

“Yes.” 

“Okay.” Simon smiles and leans over to kiss Baz on the cheek. “Boyfriends.” 

Baz turns his head to capture Simon’s lips and cup his cheek. Simon gives in but quickly pushes him gently.

“Baz, we’re at work.” He swats his arm.

“Yeah yeah.” Baz mumbles but smiles softly.

Penny: “If those two idiots aren’t together... I swear to god.” 

Penny walks up to her desk and looks into the camera briefly as she sits down.

“Baz, did you do anything fun last night?” 

Baz doesn’t even get thrown off as he lies through his teeth.

“Nope.”

Micah looks into the camera with his eyebrows furrowed. He gets up and claps his hand on Baz’s shoulder.

“You wanna come have tea with me and Pen?” He asks.

“Uh- sure.” He gets up and walks with them. 

“So... what happened?” Penny asks when they’re all seated at the table in the kitchen. 

“What are you talking about?”

“With Simon.”

“Still don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I saw you two last night.”

“[bleep]”

Penny smirks. 

“Yeah okay. We kissed.”

“I was bluffing.”

“What?”

“I didn’t see you guys. I just thought it would make you spill.”

“Christ, Bunce.” 

“So what else happened?” Micah asks.

“Well we kissed... and then we kissed today. And we’re dating. That’s it.” 

Penny smiles and just then Simon walks in. He smiles politely at all three of them and pours himself some coffee.

“So how was it?” Penny asks him from where she sits. 

Baz glares at her sternly.

“Hmm?” Simon’s brows furrow. 

“The kiss?”

Simon chokes on his coffee, wiping at his mouth after. 

“The what now?” He tries to be nonchalant but his hand slips from the counter and he tries to play it off by resting on his elbow. 

“I’m gonna go back to my desk.” Micah says at pats Simon on the back as he walks past. 

Penny rests her chin on her hands like a little starstruck teenager. 

“She called me out so I told her.” Baz grumbles. 

Simon sighs and sits with them. 

“Do you want a play by play?” He asks.

“Absolutely.” 

“So I surprised him with roses then we kissed, then again, then he took me home and we kissed again, and then again after that. And then this morning when I came to pick him up and then a little during lunch.” 

“Okay I didn’t-“ 

“And his lips are so soft.” He turns to Baz and cups his face dramatically. “He’s such a good kisser. And everything about him is so amazing and I love his hair and-“

“Please shut up now.” Baz blushes and turns away from him. 

“Was that enough for you?” He smiles at Penny.

“Yeah. I will never ask about your love life again.” She pretends to gag.

“Good.” He turns Baz’s face back to him and kisses him soft and chaste.

The camera cuts to Baz talking to Dev and Niall about a new sale he just made. Then it cuts to Agatha playing games on her computer. Then it cuts to Simon and Ebb chatting in the break room. Then finally to Penny and Micah. 

“Where are we going tonight?” Penny asks.

“What kind of food are you in the mood for?” Micah asks.

Penny ponders for a moment. 

“I don’t know. Comfort food sounds really good right now. But I don’t really know a good place for that.” She shrugs. 

“Why don’t I make some comfort food and you can come over for dinner?” Micah smiles. 

Penny smiles back and nods.

“That sounds good.” 

The camera then goes to a while later, almost time to leave. 

“Wanna come to my place? I’ve got left over Italian food.” Baz asks Simon as they throw on their coats. 

“Sure.” Simon smiles. “Did you finish that painting?” 

“I did actually. And I started a new one.” 

“You’ll have to let me look through your other paintings. I didn’t get to see them all last time.” 

“Alright.” He ruffles Simon’s hair as they walk out.

They’re the last ones to leave and as they step out into the parking lot Simon tugs on Baz’s hand.

“Hey.” He says.

“Hi?” Baz says with an eyebrow raised.

Simon smiles and pulls him into a kiss. Baz hums and puts a hand on his face and one on his waist. Simon parts Baz’s lips with his own and slips his tongue inside of his mouth. Baz sighs through his nose and presses Simon impossibly closer and pushes his tongue against Simon’s slowly. 

After a moment and some embarrassing sounds, Simon pulls away and licks his lips before looking at Baz with lidded eyes and a small smile. Baz bumps his nose against Simon’s. 

Simon turns to the camera and his smile goes sheepish. 

“Go away.” Baz waves the camera off but it stays on just long enough to catch Baz turning Simon behind him and pulling him closer for another hard kiss. Simon makes a surprised sound and giggles and then the camera goes off.


	18. Sick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YIKES its been a while   
> Long story short ive just been in a slump for the past couple months and everything i try to write i hate so this is the best i could do lol  
> Ill hopefully be back to somewhat regular uploading soon  
> And ive been working on a new chapter for my other ongoing fic for WEEKS and im getting nowhere so :/

The camera is on Baz standing at the entrance of the Watford building.

“Me and Snow have been dating for a week now. We’ve carpooled together most days. It’s pretty-“ 

“Baz! Come on, it’s cold!” Simon walks up behind him and drags him into the building.

“Hello, love birds.” Agatha says to them as they walk in. 

Baz nods and Simon makes small chit chat while he hangs his coat up. 

Micah: “Things are going great with Penny! Thanks for asking. We’ve been on three official dates and we’re really clicking.” 

“Hey, did you guys get the email from David?” Ebb walks into the break room during lunch.

“Yeah I just read it. Is he serious?” Dev asks. 

“Wait, what are you guys talking about?” Simon asks.

“David is coming in next week. He’s bringing some higher-up from corporate to evaluate us.” Ebb says. 

“What does he mean ‘evaluate’?” Simon sputters.

“He didn’t really clarify but I think it’s mostly just going to be some guy looking through files and asking me about stuff like if we’ve had any violence or anything.” Ebb speaks again.

“Simon and Baz used to file complaints about each other all the time. Will they ask about that?” Penny looks up. Simon stares at the camera and shrugs. 

“Probably, but I’ll just let them know everything’s okay now.” Ebb sits down. “Speaking of you two-“ She points at Simon and Baz. “you need to fill out a form to disclose your relationship for corporate.” 

“Alright.” Baz says. 

Simon nods and continues eating. 

Later, after lunch, Simon walks up to Baz in the kitchen where he’s making tea. 

“Hey.” He says and sits on the counter beside him. 

“You should be working.” Baz says.

“So should you.”

Baz sighs. 

“Do you want to get dinner tonight?” Simon asks and pushes some of Baz’s hair back behind his ear. 

“Sure.” Baz smiles down at his tea. 

“Good.” Simon pecks him on the cheek before he hops off the counter. “We can find a place later.” He says and walks out. 

Baz: “I know it’s only been a week but... I still feel like its a dream or something.” 

Simon: “I just want to like- to just...” He scrunches his nose up. “Just kiss him. Like all the time. I have those little butterflies in my stomach and chest whenever I do get to kiss him. Ugh-“ He laughs and rubs his face. 

“Hey.” Penny sits on the edge of Simon’s desk. 

“What’s up?”

“D’you and Baz want to go on a double date with me and Micah?” 

“Sure! When did you have in mind?”

“Well, tonight works.”

“Sorry, me and Baz already have a date planned.” 

“Gross love birds.” She stands and nudges his head. “We can do something this weekend then.” 

“Sounds good.” He smiles.

Time passes and Baz is on the phone. 

“Great! Yeah, thanks. Pleasure doing business.” He hangs up his phone and smiles wide. 

“Good sale?” Penny asks. 

“Great sale.” He stretches in his chair and sighs. 

“It’s almost time to go, Baz.” Simon walks up to his chair and taps his head. 

“Really?” He looks up and squints. “We never gave Ebb our relationship form!” 

“I did it a couple hours ago. You just have to sign it tomorrow.” 

“Hm. Alright.” Baz hugs Simon around his middle as he stays standing beside him. 

“Wha-?” 

“Warm.”

“Are you alright?” Simon puts a hand on Baz’s forehead. “I think you have a fever.”

“Impossible.” He mumbles.

“Come on. We need to get you home.”

“But we’re going to dinner!” Baz whines.

“I’ll make you some soup at your place. Let’s go, love.”

Baz just groans sadly but lets Simon pull him up. 

“Oh- hey! I finished that painting!” Baz says suddenly on the drive to his place. 

“Your car is too big.” Simon mutters. “‘S hard to drive.” 

“You don’t even care about the painting?” 

“Of course I do! You’ll have to show me when we get there, okay?”

Baz nods. 

“Come on big guy.” Simon guides him out of the car. “Where’s your house key?” 

“Uh... oh. Here.” He fishes it out of his pocket. 

“Do you have soup?” Simon asks after he’s gotten Baz situated on the couch. 

“Cabinet.”

“...Thanks.” Simon makes a deadpanned face at the camera, gesturing towards several cabinets. 

He finally finds some tomato soup and heats it up, making toast with it. 

“Here, eat.” 

“‘Kay.” 

“Do you want a blanket?” 

Baz nods slowly. 

“Here. I’ll put a movie on.” 

Simon stands in Baz’s bathroom, talking to the camera after he’s gotten Baz situated. 

“If he wasn’t sick, he would be so embarrassed right now.” 

The camera cuts to Baz sprawled on his couch, snoring lightly. 

“Baz, wake up.” 

“Huh?” He coughs and sits up, nearly ramming Simon in the face. 

“Medicine time.”

“No.”

“Yes. And then after that it’s off to bed.” 

“Ngh...” He groans sadly but accepts the small plastic cup with a dark blue liquid. 

“Ugh!” His face scrunches up and he shivers. 

“Here, tea.” Simon hands him a cup to chase the medicine down. 

“That was bad.” Baz says. His voice is low and nasally at the same time. He gladly chugs the mug of tea.

“Baz, that’s hot! Be careful!” Simon scrambles to take it from him. 

“Sleep soon?” Baz looks up at him. 

Simon pets his head lightly.

“Sure, why don’t you go get ready for bed and I’ll clean up.” 

“Okay.” He stands and stretches, falling over a little. 

Simon does his dishes quickly and goes to check on Baz in bed. 

“You’re staying right?” Baz asks quietly. 

“If you want me too sure. You’ll get me sick though.” He smiles lightly. 

“You don’t have to. I just...”

“I was joking, darling.” Simon kisses his forehead. “Ill get pajamas on.” 

“You gotta show the cameraman out too.” Baz sniffs. 

“Oh, yeah. And blow your nose! Don’t keep sniffing it away.”

“Yeah yeah.” 

“Here... uh... do you need a ride or something?” 

The camera shakes and motions to the window. There is a car in the parking area of Baz’s complex. 

“Oh okay. Well- uhm... bye.” Simon shrugs and opens the door. 

The last shot is Simon smiling softly as he walks back into Baz’s bedroom.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are appreciated id love to know where you want the series to go. Also any unfinished ties will be continued to be talked about in the next chapter(s). Thanks  
> P.s if there's grammatical errors I'm sorry it's 1 am


End file.
